Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Costumes and Ice Scream Cakes

Some nostalgic commercials from years gone by ... for the Spooky Season from Utter Despair NJ television lost airwaves.

Remember those Halloween costumes with those plastic masks and the rubber band-like string that secured the mask around your head? That elastic string always gave THE FUTURIST! an irritating red mark behind his small ears. The eye holes on the masks were scary, too. Every time you blinked you could feel the sharp plastic edges scrape your tender eye lids. Very often it was so chilly on Halloween night you had to wear a jacket over that thin cheap costume that covered your torso. You walked around like Batman or Captain America wearing a hooded parka. How humiliating and destructive to the aura of your surreal reality.



And no Halloween was complete without the annual airings of Carvel Cakes. These local ads feature the voice of Tom Carvel. He sounded as if he was bloated on his own ice cream products and need to belch for at least an hour. FACT: THE FUTURIST! never had a Dumpy the Pumpkin or Wicki the Witch. He did once have a piece of the Carvel Thanksgiving Ice Cream Cake, however.

5 comments:

Mike said...

Jerry Seinfeld had a routine on his stand-up cd about those halloween costumes. So either Seinfeld and THE FUTURIST! had very similar experiences as a child and as THE YOUNG FUTURIST!, respectively, or THE FUTURIST! IS STEALING WHOLESALE FROM JERRY SEINFELD. I go with the former.

Dara said...

Spook sticks!

Also, I like the way the man says "thank you" at the end of the second ad!

Eliminator_of_Bullshit said...

What, by God, is a spook stick, and how might I acquire one these days?

I can't determine if the costumes have gotten more or less cheap. I suppose they've at least gotten more realistic. I'm not sure if Darth Vader really wears a jerkin with his own face on it.

THE FUTURIST! said...

Mike:

THE FUTURIST! would never steal from a master comedian. And he never heard this routine by Seinfeld. Listen, if you wore one of those costumes, then the experience was universal.

Dara:

That thank you was uttered by the owner of Carvel, Tom Carvel. Doesn't he sound bloated? Often he would appear on his commercials. He looked a nice old Grandpa ... with a lot of gastro-intestinal gas.

Eliminator:

THE FUTURIST! has no knowledge of what a Spook Stick was or is ... but he can imagine what you could possibly do with it ... and that thought is probably illegal in Michigan. As to the cheapness of the costumes ... yes, they were very cheap and thin. It was a more innocent time. During this time, psychotics merely pressed hallucinogens into Milky Way bars and re-wrapped them and substituted prescription muscle relaxants into M&M bags. Later on they got nastier with razor blades in apples and such.

kazu said...

i know exactly what you're talking about regarding those costumes. i only wore one once: wolverine in 2nd grade.