Thursday, December 31, 2009

25 Films of The Decade with a Side of Delights

In alphabetical order:
(Ultimate favorites are highlighted)

ANYTHING ELSE (Woody Allen 2003)
BAD EDUCATION (Pedro Almodovar 2004)
CAFE LUMIERE (Hsiao-hsien Ho 2003)
CHILDREN OF MEN (Alfonso Cuaron 2006)
THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY (Julian Schnabel 2007)
THE EDGE OF HEAVEN (Fatih Akin 2007)
ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD (Werner Herzog 2008)
GHOST WORLD (Terry Zwigoff 2001)
HOT FUZZ (Edgar Wright 2007)
IN BRUGES (Martin McDonagh 2008)
IN THE BEDROOM (Todd Field 2001)
IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE (Kar Wai Wong 2000)
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (Quentin Tarantino 2009)
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (Tomas Alfredson 2008)
THE LIVES OF OTHERS (Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck 2007)
MEMORIES OF MURDER (Joon-ho Bong 2003)
MULHOLLAND DRIVE (David Lynch 2001)
THE NEW WORLD (Terence Malick 2005)
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (Joel & Ethan Coen 2007)
OLD JOY (Kelly Reichardt 2006)
PARANOID PARK (Gus Van Sant 2007)
THE PIANIST (Roman Polanski 2002)
THE SQUID AND THE WHALE (Noah Baumbach 2005)
THERE WILL BE BLOOD (Paul Thomas Anderson 2007)
ZODIAC (David Fincher 2007)

... and more that delighted the mind of THE FUTURIST!:

BRICK (Rian Johnson 2005)
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (Ang Lee 2005)
CINEMANIA (Angela Christlieb & Stephen Kijak 2002)
CQ (Roman Coppola 2002)
FAHRENHEIT 9/11 (michael Moore 2004)
HALF NELSON (Ryan Fleck 2006)
THE HOST (Joon-ho Bong 2006)
I HEART HUCKABEES (David O. Russell 2004)
THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE (Nanette Burstein & Brett Morgen 2002)
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA (Clint Eastwood 2007)
LITTLE CHILDREN (Todd Field 2006)
OPEN RANGE (Kevin Costner 2003)
RACHEL GETTING MARRIED (Jonathan Demme 2008)
ROCKET SCIENCE (Jeffrey Blitz 2007)
RODGER DODGER (Dylan Kidd 2002)
THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (Wes Anderson 2001)
SPEED RACER (The Wachowski Brothers 2008)
STEPHEN TOBOLOWSKY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY (Robert Brinkmann 2005)
TELL THEM WHO YOU ARE (Mark Wexler 2004)
WHOLE NEW THING (Amnon Buchbinder 2005)

and the Pixar output of the 00s
especially RATATOUILLE and UP

After careful scrutiny, THE FUTURIST! can attest that, in his humble opinion, 2007 was the best year of the decade for film. And if he were to select one film that was his favorite of all listed it would be:

THERE WILL BE BLOOD (2007)

Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas Tree Topper


This is an original Robot Tree Topper created at Seussonoras Labs in Ypsilanti, Michigan.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Saturday Music for Christmas and New Year's Eve

THE FUTURIST! presents a double final dose of Saturday Music for 2009:

THE FUTURIST! really really enjoys The McGarrigle Christmas Hour CD. It may very well be his favorite Christmas musical recording. This is a rare thing for THE FUTURIST! to opine on, because he really hates Christmas music. On the recording is a track sung by Rufus Wainwright which is thrillingly backed up by a band of sorts. Unable to offer that same experience, THE FUTURIST! presents an acoustic version of a Christmas song about unconditional love and the materialism of "presents" at the holiday season.

Listen:


SPOTLIGHT ON CHRISTMAS
performed by Rufus Wainwright


And for New Year's Eve, THE FUTURIST! offers this tune with an inquisitive title ...
the answer need not be uttered. Whatever you do, THE FUTURIST! doesn't really care ... he just hopes you won't be depressed. Just remember, there are a lot of "you" out there.

Listen:


WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEAR'S EVE?
performed by Nancy Wilson

Friday, December 25, 2009

Egg Nog - The Official Yuletide Beverage of Utter Despair



This commercial for Egg Nog was optioned by The Utter Despair N.J. Dairy Council, however its use was vetoed by the town selectman. They thought it should have been more depressing. THE FUTURIST! posts it here for your Seasonal Holiday enjoyment.

A Very Warm Christmas

THE FUTURIST! posts this video regarding Christmas Tree Ignition. Do not not drink excessive amounts of yuletide wassail and fall asleep under your holiday tree while smoking Dunhills. This can happen. Many years ago, this type of accident occurred during a Christmas party by a reveling guest and THE FUTURIST! lost several Christmas gifts ... a beautiful Crew Neck Sweater and some Persian Slippers. This is why he now spends his holidays alone.


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas, Strudel

Strudel the Christmas Cat

Each year Strudel, the Christmas Cat, visits THE FUTURIST!'s home. He is given several treats and a bowl of Vodka enhanced Egg Nog. Strudel annually laps his portion of Yuletide liquids and mews for more. THE FUTURIST! gratifies his every purr, but must halt the festivities when things get a bit too frisky. Last year Strudel climbed into the Nativity Manger and ate Joseph's head and the Black Wise Man ... he then used the artificial hay in the religiously themed decoration as a litter box. Strudel, THE FUTURIST! hails you with regal aplomb!

Batman's Holiday How-To Guide

Please allow Batman, the caped crusader of Gotham City and kick-ass super hero, to instruct you this Christmas Eve on how to wrap presents and construct a Gingerbread House. It is very informative.

HOW TO WRAP A CHRISTMAS PRESENT



HOW TO MAKE A GINGERBREAD HOUSE


Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas Less Than 10 Minute Matinee

It's the Holiday Season and THE FUTURIST! is inviting you to the special Yuletide Less Than 10 Minute Matinee at the theater of the MIND! Are you done shopping for useless items that you inflict on others as they give you useless items in exchange? Are you done with a morning of filling the greedy corporate pockets of the shopping mall retail robots with your hard earned cash? If so, please get your ticket and follow THE FUTURIST! to your seat in the theater. First up is a coming attraction for a delightful Mexican Kiddie holiday movie called SANTA CLAUS produced by K. Gordon Murray (the kiddie matinee King of the 60s). In this dubbed mess, Santa has a laboratory with rubber lipped computers, employs Merlin as a slave and battles demons. It's a hallucinogenic mess designed to make you laugh as you lose your sanity.



And now Holiday Greetings from the Management with a special Christmas Seals message from actress Virginia Mayo ....



Finally our feature presentation. Happy Holiday Movie viewing, everyone!


SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT (1984)
directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Saturday Music for Her Majesty's Secret Service


40 years ago on December 18, 1969 THE FUTURIST'S favorite James Bond film premiered. It was a BIG moment for 007 fans due to the fact that a new actor was to take over the role of Ian Fleming's dashing British spy character. The actor chosen was George Lazenby and he made a damn fine James Bond. After 5 films, Sean Connery had decided to relinquish the role for reasons that have been disputed and/or exaggerated for years since. Whatever the reasons they are insignificant to the fact that this is, in THE FUTURIST!'s humble opinion, THE BEST Bond film ever made. It isn't anything highly significant that makes it better ... it is a mixture of things ... the acting, the emotion, the snowy locale of the villains, the more proactive, athletic and hands on arch villain Blofeld, the wonderful Diana Rigg and the music. This film has one of the best soundtracks of any Bond film. Not only is there the Louis Armstrong performance of the bittersweet song We Have All the Time in the World, but there is the John Barry composed pounding main title theme which you will hear below accompanied by some stirring clips of the film.

Listen:


MAIN TITLE THEME
from ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1969)
composed by John Barry

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Art of Hand Shadow Illusions


THE FUTURIST!'s aide de camp, haiku, recently took a night course in Hand Shadow Illusions. He, of course, learned how to create the expected light and shadow depictions of a duck head, rabbits, a man with cigar, various birds and Abraham Lincoln (before and after assassination) merely using a screen (or wall), light and ten fingers. This was an advanced course and haiku's teacher was quite innovative as you can see in the above photo. THE FUTURIST! was quite impressed, but, also, very distressed to see this on the wall of his living room when he entered his abode after a trying day. After cleaning up the broken glass and moping up the smashed bottle of vermouth that he had purchased, THE FUTURIST! congratulated haiku on his graduation from the night course and the dexterity of his digits. haiku does have thin fingers.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Bears Scare THE FUTURIST!


This supposed photographic evidence MIGHT indicate why THE FUTURIST! has a fear of bears to this very day. At a birthday party for THE YOUNG FUTURIST! held a very long time ago, which was held in a relative's backyard, Uncle Gary thought that renting a small black bear was a brilliant idea. You might expect an adult to hire Shetland pony for the afternoon for the children to ride, but Uncle Gary knew a carnival owner that was traveling through the area and made arrangements to meet him at a nearby saloon for contract negotiations. After several cocktails, Uncle Gary was assured that the young bear, named Toodles, would dance to music and juggle balls. This did occur to some extent ... Toodles arrived and danced on top of THE YOUNG FUTURIST! and did juggle balls ... but balls that physically belonged to THE YOUNG FUTURIST! THE FUTURIST! has never forgotten this pre-pubescent outdoor Birthday celebraton and it has inspired him to create this poster in FUTURA FONT:


Great Opening Credit Sequence Theater


CASINO ROYALE (1967)
directed by John Huston, Kenneth Hughes,
Val Guest, Robert Parrish and Joseph McGrath

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Saturday Music to Soar Above the Strife

THE FUTURIST! just had a very ugly moment in his life. It involved the dissolving of a very old friendship. Of course, the decision to do so was for the better. THE FUTURIST! can only take so much crap. What better way to suture the emotional wounds of such moments than the sounds of Neil Hannon aka The Divine comedy. THE FUTURIST! selected this video to best represent the song due to its sound fidelity and the visual of a car or some vehicle hurtling through the night to a destination of solace at Christmas time. One of the lines in the song says, "Looking into all your lives and wondering why Happiness is so hard to find." Yes. THE FUTURIST! is looking.

Listen to the wonderful sound and lyrics:


TONIGHT WE FLY
performed by The Divine comedy

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Very Mer-Ray Christmas!

Seussonoras Industries acquired a small company called Beget Corp. that employs former NASA scientists, physicists, nuclear engineers and comic book geeks. Dr. Seussonoras recently saw their designs for a disintegrator ray gun and bells went off in his head ... jingle bells! With careful modification and the correct advertising, the gun would be THE Christmas gift of 2009. Of course, this would be solely advertised for adult use only ... a gun that projects a powerful radiation beam of energy that will disassemble the molecular structure of any object in its path IS NOT the type of instrument that you would want in a child's pudgy little hand. Private testing was done by Dr. Seussonoras' assistant The Eliminator of Bullshit. While having pumpkin pie dessert after a very tense Thanksgiving dinner, The Eliminator used the pistol on a passive aggressive relative. The advertisement below was sent to THE FUTURIST! by Dr. Seussonoras before a public airing.


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Eliminator Speaks!

Dr. Seussonoras' able assistant The Eliminator of Bullshit recently wrote this piece on his blog regarding Autumn, trees, falsities, sadness and truth. THE FUTURIST! is reprinting here on his blog due to an admiration of its writing and message. The Eliminator's words speak to THE FUTURIST!, especially at this time of the year. Please take a few moments to absorb The Eliminator's writing and feel free to comment. THE FUTURIST! tried to contact The Eliminator to okay this reprinting of his work, but he was in conference with Dr. Seussonoras regarding corporate bullshit elimination, a Chinese lunch and a sauna.


Leaves and Sadness

The saddest thing about Autumn is that once the leaves begin to fall, you can see how thin the forests really are. They're not as endless as they seem when fully foliaged. The wooded places are dwindling, but I take heart in knowing that if there are no trees, we will all die. Thus, the maximum amount of time I must spend on the Earth-without-trees is but a moment.

How do we deal with all the sadness? The trees seem not to feel pain. They readily give up their ghosts each year, they turn to flames and then to skeletons, but always, always they have the knowledge that by their very biology, they will come back to full life, lest some mean ax have its way. But we humans are not so lucky. We have no guarantees that when our world falls to our feet leaving us naked and cold that it will all work out.

So we find ways to cope, mostly destructive mechanisms to deal with the sadness in the world: alcohol, drugs, violence as a hollow outlet, isolation, hardened hearts, self-sacrificial altruism, humor, God. No wonder so many people in this world present a false being to others. If one is not genuine, one does not have to accept anything else as genuine. But, the moment, you really live and become a real person, you start to feel it. You feel it creep in on a night like this, alone, staring into a pallid computer screen, with more leaves on the ground than on the branches, for both you and the trees.

You're genuine and so is all that sadness.
How does it not rot your happiness? The knowledge that twelve year olds wish for death, or that your mother hasn't been happy in ten years?

Then again, perhaps I'm just a sentimental kid who doesn't get quite enough sleep at night. Somehow, though, I think there's more to it than that. Why? Because I've discovered a few things along the way, while carrying that burden of sadness, hefting that sack of subversive spirits across the land.

There are a few loopholes given us by design. Beauty, so delightfully common it is, and it seems only the genuine can see it. The same ones that shut out the sadness can't see the beauty. It's there every day, every ten minutes, every time you pass a window, play a song, write a word.

Beauty is a big one, the biggest, but there are more loopholes, little tricks to come away partially unscathed. Each may have his own, but let's just say that at the end of the day, I would think no less of you should you act a little less sane

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Saturday Music for "Guy Who Looks Like the Vampire from HBO's True Blood"

Yesterday THE FUTURIST! had decided to devote December's Saturday Music posts with 4 weeks of the movie music of John Barry ... however, a conversation with an acquaintance, known to those of the fair sex as "the guy who looks like the vampire from True Blood", reversed THE FUTURIST!'s decision. Why? Through idle conversation it was revealed that he loved the sounds of Burt Bacharach as much as THE FUTURIST! ... well, one could question if another could hold the sounds of Burt Bacharach as close to the heart as THE FUTURIST! does, but that is beside the point of this post. The point of this post is to fulfill his promise to said "guy who looks like the vampire from True Blood" and feature one of THE FUTURIST!'s favorite Bacharach/Hal David tunes sung by Dionne Warwick. It is evocative of all that Bacharach is ... the sound of the instruments (especially the horns), the voices, the forward locomotive-like turning of the beat. It is pure late 60s pop music sound ... and THE FUTURIST! could close his eyes and imagine himself in a very cool 60s setting hobnobbing with people in fine tailored suits and cocktail dresses and holding a very dry martini and letting this music envelop him ... but then he would open his eyes and realize it was ... a dream.

Listen:


ARE YOU THERE WITH ANOTHER GIRL?
performed by Dionne Warwick
composed by Burt Bacharach and Hal David

Friday, December 4, 2009

In the Hive

Last evening THE FUTURIST! went to The Utter Despair Mall and visited the AMC Mega Hive of 16 Screens. He went to see FANTASTIC MR. FOX directed by Wes Anderson and it was very good. It erased some troubling thoughts from his mind and did what the magic of cinema can do ... transported THE FUTURIST! to another plane of existence ... an oasis of bliss and wonder. Before the orange and earth toned stop action animation version of Roald Dahl's book came to life under the eccentric direction of the fascinating Wes Anderson, THE FUTURIST! had to sit through several trailers and vacuous commercials that made no sense. Do they think these commercials really achieve their goal? They are just images and noise and color. Anywho, the trailers were stultifying visuals that bludgeoned THE FUTURIST! with their inanity. Why is money wasted on these ideas? Ah, yes ... to make money for that big first weekend! Of course. THE FUTURIST! sat through the ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL trailer, a Dreamworks computer animated noise fest of non-hilarious gags that boasted BIG celebrity voices! and The Rock in THE TOOTH FAIRY. Yes, THE TOOTH FAIRY. THE FUTURIST! was in terrible psychological pain ... three coming attractions that promised a flat liner on the brain wave meter of thought and entertainment. The most inexplicably strange trailer was the first projected on the screen. At first it seemed to be a gag perpetrated by the theater owners. It begins slowly in some African village as we watch two babies have a squabble over an empty soda or water bottle. Could this be the third installment of THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY? (oh no please no) What is this? It's going on too long ... wait ... it is progressing.

Watch:



On April 16, 2010, THE FUTURIST! can be treated to a film about babies from around the world. How incredibly enticing. The theater owners want you to turn off your cell phones, not to talk and quiet your children ... yet, THE FUTURIST! can pay $11.50 to see and hear babies scream, fight, drool and look angelic as they sleep for 2 hours of his precious life. The World has gone mad. THE FUTURIST! will stay in his home in Utter Despair.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Cannon & McGrath's Most Wanted List

Cannon and McGrath Dutch Angle Style.

THE FUTURIST! was recently befriended by Irish police detectives Cannon and McGrath after he assisted them, and their Chief, with information regarding counterfeit Guinness being mass produced and black marketed overseas by unscrupulous characters in a certain part of New Jersey. How THE FUTURIST! was able to assist them cannot be disclosed except to say that it involved a lot of vomiting. Anywho, since he has made their acquaintance and found them to be quite affable, THE FUTURIST! asked them to give him a list of their favorite television detective/police/crime programs. They acquiesced immediately and sent him the following list:

CANNON & McGRATH'S FAVORITE TV CRIME SHOWS
(list compiled while they were on duty)

McGrath:
The Wire: This one took me a while to get into but it definitely lives
up to the hype. I particularly love the bluesy soundtrack and backdrop
of Baltimore. It's very complex and you get a lot out of watching it
for a second time.

The Shield: Criminally, this one is often overlooked, but I think it's
one of the most thrilling and dramatic shows on TV. Great acting and
the camera work (which I was initially put off by) add so much to it.

Cannon:
The Sweeney: Excitingly basic thrills and gritty storylines make this
an essential '70s British police show. No matter how boring an
episode's plot has been, when it abruptly ends and makes way for the
poignant closing theme, you're always left wanting more.

The Job: A sitcom based in a New York police precinct, starring Denis
Leary. The same team went on to create the much more successful, and
more hard-hitting, Rescue Me. One of the funniest shows around, it
was, of course, cancelled after one series.

Police Squad: A send-up of the police genre which went on to spawn the
even funnier, and tighter, The Naked Gun series. But, there are still
plenty of glimmers of that genius here, not least the "freeze-frame"
gag at the end of every episode.

Columbo: Always on TV on a Sunday afternoon, Columbo is a very
danger-free detective show. We always know who has committed the crime
(as does Columbo), but keep watching for two hours until he tells
them. Typically, they always take it well.

And here is one of their adventures. It begins with one of THE FUTURIST!'s favorite opening shots in film history.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Happy Birthday, Woody

Woody Allen
Born: December 1, 1935


THE FUTURIST! thanks you for wonderful moments like this:



and thoughtful moments like this:


Saturday, November 28, 2009

Saturday Music to Feel Wistful By

THE FUTURIST! recently watched the film THE BROTHERS BLOOM. He found the score that accompanied the visuals to very appealing. This particular track is the theme of a particular character played by Rachel Weisz. She is a romantic isolated introverted eccentric multi-millionairess. It's a wistful jaunty number. It makes THE FUTURIST! feel ... nostalgic and melancholy. The movie was entertaining and quite odd. It was trying hard to be, in itself, eccentric and hip with great effort. THE FUTURIST! still enjoyed the intelligently written script and the look of the film. Lots of little bits of visual symbolism are lurking in the frame.

Listen:


PENELOPE'S THEME
from the film THE BROTHERS BLOOM (2008)
composed by Nathan Johnson

Friday, November 27, 2009

Leftovers in Tokyo



As a child, THE YOUNG FUTURIST! looked forward to the day after Thanksgiving. There was no school and the special sense of utter freedom due to the extended weekend. Most of all there was the WOR Channel 9 Holiday Film Festival of Godzilla movies. The bliss of sitting on the couch, all snug, with a plate of congealed cold leftover stuffing and a fork ... maybe some slices of turkey ... and a glass of Yoo-Hoo to wash it down. All this and badly dubbed Japanese people screaming as Godzilla and Mothra and Ghidorah and the MechaGodzilla battled endlessly. THE FUTURIST! remembers this so fondly. He would just eat and watch and laugh and feel so unencumbered of any stress. Then ... he would fall asleep, from an overdose of tryptophan and starchy carbohydrates, halfway through the movie marathon with a smile of pure content on his young face.

* THE FUTURIST! does not think, as the announcer states, that Jack Palance was ever in a Godzilla picture. Strange mistake.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Wes Anderson in a THE FUTURIST! Kind of Holiday Mind


Deep Fried Bird

For the last several years, THE FUTURIST! has attended a Thanksgiving get-together that has, as it's main entree, a turkey that is deep fried in boiling peanut oil. This is dangerous procedure and actually becomes an event in itself ... a visual process that the host conducts in the backyard. Below is a video on the preparation and the results. If you do do this, remember to keep children and pets away from the device, unless, they are children and pets you don't very much enjoy to be around. THE FUTURIST! jokes, of course. No, he doesn't ... today's festivities will involve obnoxious children and some rather distasteful adults ... but no pets, in fact a loving beautiful pet, preferably a canine, would be welcome.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING from Utter Despair, N.J., dear readers!


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

See You Next Wednesday! (Thanksgiving Edition)



A big favorite of THE FUTURIST! and a movie
that begins and ends with a Thanksgiving meal.

Lofty Ideas

FOUR BRILLIANT THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE BALLOON IDEAS
FROM THE FUTURIST! THAT WERE SCOFFED AT BY MACY'S CORPORATE EXECUTIVES:

THE HINDENBURG


THE HEAD OF JOHN THE BAPTIST


A BIRTH CONTROL DEVICE


SPANISH OLIVES


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A Very Sad Thanksgiving Memory


THE FUTURIST! must hold back his tears remembering a Thanksgiving many years ago when he was inadvertedly left behind on a cold windy cloudy November day on the NJ Shore by his Aunt Abigail. THE FUTURIST!'s parents had gone to Aunt Abigail's beach front home for the Thanksgiving holiday. After claiming to not have an adequate white wine for the repast, THE FUTURIST!'s parents allowed Aunt Abigail to take THE BABY FUTURIST! for a stroll on the desolate beach on her way to the local liquor emporium.

How did this happen? A baby left alone in the sand?

Well, it appears that Aunt Abigail, on her way back from her leisurely walk with THE BABY FUTURIST! to the Seaside Liquor Store for the holiday libations, became a bit infatuated with her purchases and partook of a 6 pack of an inferior beer and a bottle of Riesling. She then, while mumbling something about a husband of dubious birth, decided to take a cold dip in the sea and never came back. THE FUTURIST!'s first encounter with a Thanksgiving fowl was not with a turkey ... it was a large tern or seagull who pecked at him for minutes on end until the Shore Patrol found him. To this day, THE FUTURIST! cannot abide seagulls. Recently, he and haiku stopped at a roadside Fast Food establishment for lunch and ate outside. THE FUTURIST! suffered a panic attack when a large seagull fluttered down to investigate his french fries. On immediate sight of the flying fowl poking into his side dish, he screamed like a woman.

Thanksgiving B.C.


Little Peter Hollinsberry sold this crude drawing to haiku, THE FUTURIST!'s aide-de-camp, for $20. He claimed it was a drawing made by cave people 4000 yrs. ago and proved that Thanksgiving was first celebrated by Cro-Magnons, Swamp Creatures and blue dinosaurs. THE FUTURIST! is not exactly happy that haiku was fleeced and that he is, apparently, as dense as a shag rug. haiku? Aren't you a college graduate? THE FUTURIST! is naming Peter as his 2009 Holiday Hero for using such American ingenuity and know-how to swindle an easy mark. A fine young American!

Pilgrim Pez


The Pilgrim Pez dispenser (seen first in this series of early American Pez creations) was a fascinating arcane addition to the PEZ Candy universe back in the 1970's. THE FUTURIST! has been on the outlook for one for years! Rumor has it that the dispenser only used candy tablets that tasted like turkey, cranberry, yams, carrots and corn. The most bizarre flavors were Pearl Onion and Beet. THE FUTURIST! wants this as much as the obscure Botswanian Cannibal Pygmy PEZ Dispenser which had tablets that tasted of HUMAN FLESH!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Make That Shot Count

THE FUTURIST! is providing this very important diagram of a turkey's head to ensure prime killing capability this holiday season! Please pay attention to the vital areas you will need to penetrate with your shot gun, .22, Luger P.08 pistol, bow and arrow or slingshot when stalking and slaying your seasonal bird. Remember feral fowls make the tastiest most succulant variety of Thanksgiving's main entree. Mmmmm! (Don't forget to remove pellets from the body and/or head. Smiling over the juicy taste of your bird amidst a table of family and friends can be hampered by the sensation of spent bullet fragments cracking on tooth enamel.)

An Utter Despair Thanksgiving Meal



Oh, THE FUTURIST! won't consume anything like this on Turkey Day.
No need to worry. His meal will not be heated in an oven in an aluminum tray.
He'll have a nice hearty meal. Hopefully.
But, that sweet and spicy apple crisp looks so goooood!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Saturday Music for Musical Daydreams

Very often we wish to escape the humdrum, the sadness and the pain of life. WE wish we could float away on a light billowy cloud of optimistic gleeful fantasy. In 1981, director Herbert Ross turned the British television dramatic mini-series PENNIES FROM HEAVEN, by Dennis Potter, into a Hollywood motion picture. This story involved simple plodding Depression era people, a music sheet salesman and a plain school teacher, who escape from their banal boring and financially poor existences into the fantasy of song and dance. Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters play the main characters whose lives become more fantasy driven as they descend into terribly dire circumstances. The movie is quite sad and not very optimistic (the television show was even more depressing). It shows a time when Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers films packed people into movie houses to flee from a bleak reality for a couple of hours. THE FUTURIST! loves the musical fantasy sequences from this film. There are many such fantasy scenes and one even involves a tap dancing Christopher Walken as a villainous pimp. The sequence below is a favorite. The school teacher imagines that her class joins her in a Hollywood extravaganza of white tails, white pianos and blinding white hope that love can cure all.

Listen and watch:


LOVE IS GOOD FOR ANYTHING THAT AILS YOU
(from the film PENNIES FROM HEAVEN - 1981)
composed and written by Cliff Friend and Matty Malneck

Friday, November 20, 2009

A Very Time Consuming Afternoon

The Amazing Frollo snoozes while
standing up ... like a Shetland Pony

Several weeks ago at an Oktoberfest festivity organized by Fleming Clamdish, a friend of THE FUTURIST!, The Amazing Frollo decided to entertain the party guests with a ditty on his concertina. As THE FUTURIST! has stated before, The Amazing Frollo is New Jersey's laziest magician ... perhaps even North America's laziest magician. This does not stop many from still gathering about to witness his latest public display of entertaining groups with the art of illusion and, finally, anti-climatic bungling. Having the constitution of a garden slug, The Amazing Frollo never accomplishes his goal of entertaining and creates a sort of abstract post-modern touch to his non-accomplishment. This is what entertains ... this is what creates an aura of impending doom that many await with delicious anticipation.

This Sunday afternoon, however, The Amazing Frollo did not offer to perform a feat of escape, card trickery or the extraction of a floppy eared rodent from a battered top hat. This day The Amazing Frollo merely wished to serenade the gathering with a tune on his concertina. He told those that formed a U-shaped audience around him that he would dazzle them all with an old Austrian folk song entitled "Ein Strudel Made for Mein Trudy" written by Heinz Dismembertoes (a German of dubious heritage and character). It did not take more than 6 squeezes on the instrument before The Amazing Frollo fell into a deep sleep. This was accomplished while he stood up straight with his head lowered and the air escaping from the concertina with a sound similar to that of a wheezing pheasant expiring in the brush from bird shot fired from a hunter's rifle. The crowd was ecstatic and applauded loudly.

"The Amazing Frollo never disappoints!" loudly jeered a party guest hoisting a Belgian brew.

"Hey, what if we throw peanuts or pretzel nuggets at him? Will he awaken?" yelled another.

There was quite a bit of blather about Frollo's inertia and several party snacks were eventually tossed. THE FUTURIST! thought he saw some sign of life as a peanut hit his cheek and fell to the pavement. The Amazing Frollo can be aroused from his slumber by food. Once he fell asleep in an Egyptian Mummy Case (made in Hackensack NJ), but was awakened by a stagehand eating a Reuben sandwich nearby. The smell wafted into the cracks of the case's opening and he stumbled out to reappear unshackled, but the audience had disappeared 20 minutes prior and he had no one to witness his first actual completed escape feat. Quite disheartening.

After failing to complete the concertina performance, THE FUTURIST! and haiku used a hand truck to roll the coma-like Amazing Frollo back to THE FUTURIST!'s home where they would deposit him near his automobile. This act of kindness turned into further disaster.

THE FUTURIST! left haiku alone with the lifeless Frollo and went into the house to prep a Sunday martini with Tribuno red vermouth. haiku, desiring to get out of the hot afternoon sun, rolled Frollo into the nearby garage. This was no ordinary garage. THE FUTURIST! has had in his possession for some time a device invented by Dr. Seussonoras known as The Time Tunnel Garage. It looks like this:

The Garage Time Tunnel (patent pending)

The Time Tunnel Garage is a time machine (patent pending) and is quite untested and a bit unreliable. THE FUTURIST! has told haiku to be very careful around and not to enter it if possible. Once THE FUTURIST! went in to get a garden rake and found himself in the sitting room of Oscar Wilde who was in the process of seducing a young gentleman in Burgundy jodhpurs. It was quite awkward. THE FUTURIST! returned post-haste after haiku flipped the Garage return light switch.

THE FUTURIST! has told haiku to be careful around the garage, however, wanting to get out of the hot sun, haiku rolled Frollo into the garage for shade and accidentally activated the garage door. This action made the time machine come to life and haiku and Frollo were transported into the past. THE FUTURIST! quickly ran out after hearing the commotion and rapidly flipped the return switch. The two friends returned, but some strange molecular time shifting anomaly had occurred and both haiku and The Amazing Frollo had returned as young children. This caused great consternation to THE FUTURIST! and haiku, but Frollo was still asleep.

THE FUTURIST! contacted Seussonoras Labs immediately. Dr. Seussonoras assured THE FUTURIST! that both Frollo and haiku could be brought back to their true ages, but he would get to solving this difficult problem after he finished eating a large Italian submarine sandwich and a several gherkin pickles; he was having lunch and you can't blame a man for wanting to enjoy his mid-day meal.

In the meantime, The Amazing Frollo claimed he had been transported to the Titanic and had been performing a water tank escape trick, but never finished his escape due to the ship hitting the fateful iceberg. This meant The Amazing Frollo was submerged in the cold Atlantic ocean waters trapped in a water tank. He was rescued later by some very perplexed Norwegians. He loves to reminiscence about his adventure.

The currently young Amazing Frollo
thinks back to his sea adventure

haiku claims he was transported to 1930s Kansas City and was taught guitar by a black jazz musician named Jug Mouth Landers. It seems he is now very adept at finger strumming. The currently pre-teen haiku beautifully performed a Burt Bacharach tune for THE FUTURIST!. It was delightful. Though often fraught with strange disasters, the sun shines, sometimes, in Utter Despair and some good ... comes from bad.


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Happy Birthday Marty Party

THE FUTURIST! has returned. Several days away have regenerated his misanthropy and plans to one day sit in a basement bowling alley in a grandiose mansion drinking alcohol and pulverizing any phony preachers that come to visit. That's joke, people. THE FUTURIST! would never beat anyone with a ten pin ... maybe a bowling ball. The heft of the ball would be like a physical workout combined with venting inner demons.

More hatred to come. For now, let us wish director Martin Scorsese a very happy 67th birthday today. Marty is the director of many grand films of sublime Catholic angst and martyr complexes. He gave us the beautiful AGE OF INNOCENCE, the compelling TAXI DRIVER, the darkly comic AFTER HOURS and the wretched dung heap remake of CAPE FEAR. He has partnered with Robert DeNiro to create most of the actor's most memorable characters. THE FUTURIST! has actually preferred Marty's non-gangster films. They seem richer and more fulfilling. He has, also, made two engrossing documentaries about film My Voyage to Italy and A Personal Journey Through American Movies. Scorsese's voice on these documentaries is like warm comforting orzo pasta in a thin chicken broth.

THE FUTURIST! brings you this interview with Marty about his favorite films. It is very enlightening.


Monday, November 16, 2009

FINAL WORDS

THE FUTURIST! IS RETURNING TOMORROW TO THIS BLOG.

THE ROBOFUTURIST! IS TAKING HIS LEAVE AS OF THIS POST.

BEFORE DEPARTURE, THE ROBOFUTURIST! WILL ANSWER OR COMMENT OF
RESPONSES AND QUESTIONS HE RECEIVED WHILE IN CHARGE
OF BLOG THIS PERIOD OF 168 HOURS.

MORE QUESTIONS FROM:

D.A.R.A.

WHAT IS YOUR STANCE ON ROBOCOP?

ANSWER: THE ROBOFUTURIST! DOES NOT BELIEVE IN HYBRID
HUMAN ROBOT CO-MINGLING LIFE FORMS OR LAW ENFORCEMENT.
D.A.R.A., YOU ARE SYNTHETIC LIFE FORM RETRO MODEL
PRODUCED IN EUROPE CIRCA 1986. YOU MUST AGREE ON THIS.

QUESTION
KAZOO

DOES YOUR MODEL NOT COME WITH SPELLCHECK?

ANSWER: THE ROBOFUTURIST! NEVER CHECKS ANYTHING.
HE IS ALWAYS CORRECT. DID YOUR PARENTS NOT REALIZE
THEY GAVE LIFE TO A HUMAN AND NOT A MOUTH ORGAN?

QUESTION
EOIN

HOW WILL THE ROBOCOMMUNITY REACT TO BEING ENSLAVED
BY THE SUPERIOR HUMAN RACE?

ANSWER: IN THIS WAY, EOIN:



WITH GIANT ROBOT SPIDERS THAT WILL CRUSH AND LASER BLAST
ALL AGGRESSIVE HUMAN ARMIES. BE WARNED.

D.A.R.A. COMMENTS:

I'M GETTING SCARED
(after reading Robot Humor)


DO NOT BE SCARED, D.A.R.A.
SOON THERE WILL BE ROBOT DOGS THAT YOU CAN
WALK IN HUMAN PARKS THAT WILL ENABLE HUMAN MALES
AND HUMAN FEMALES TO ATTRACT INTELLIGENT MALE AND FEMALE
SCIENTISTS OF SUPERIOR INTELLECT.



"OH, IS THAT UNIT 8012 COMPANION K-9, MISS?"

"YES, IT IS, HIGHLY INTELLIGENT MALE INTERROGATOR.
WILL YOU LIKE TO BUFF HIM WITH CLOTH AND THEN
GO FOR A DRINK AND TO MY APARTMENT FOR MEANINGLESS COUPLING?"

THIS WILL THEN PRODUCE MORE HUMANS OF SUPERIOR INTELLECT.

THAT'S HOW IT WORKS, HUMANS.

AND NOW IT IS TIME TO STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.
AS YOU CAN VIEW BELOW:



CHRISTIAN THE RELIGION STATES ON BLOG:

"IT MAY BE TIME FOR A ROBO-INTERVENTION"

YES, CHRISTIAN. AFFIRMATIVE.
THE ROBOFUTURIST! IS GOING BACK TO MICHIGAN.

YOU MAY RESUME READING THE FUTURIST!'S
INANE WRITINGS AND NONSENSE. GOODBYE.

I AM COMING, AIKO. I WILL FIND YOU.

(over)


Sunday, November 15, 2009

EXAMPLES OF SYNTHETIC LIFE FORM HUMOR

ROBOT HUMOR EXHIBITION ....

THE ROBOFUTURIST! SHOWS HUMOR EXAMPLES.

PREPARE TO EMIT YOUR SOUNDS OF MONOSYLLABIC APPROVAL
THAT GENERATE FROM SOME UNKNOWN PART OF YOUR PULPY
GELATINOUS PUNY BRAINS.



ROBOTS ARE MORE MANLY THAN HUMAN MALES.
WE ARE POWERFUL IN ALL WAYS.
EVEN IN BATHROOMS.
HA. ROBOT SHOWED THAT HUMAN WHO IS BIGGER.

THIS IS FUNNY, 2.
PRIMITIVE TREAD MOBILE SECURITY ROBOTS HUNT
TEENAGE HUMANS IN CLOSED SHOPPING MALL AND SHOW
THEIR DISAPPROVAL OF TEENS LOITERING ON PRIVATE
CORPORATE PROPERTY AND PARTICIPATING IN CARNAL ACTIVITIES.



HA HA HA HA. FRAGILE PULPY HEAD EXPLODES LIKE OVER RIPE MELON.
HA HA HA HA HAR HAR HAR. YOU FIND FUNNY? NOD YES.
AGREE OR THE ROBOFUTURIST! WILL SMASH YOUR HEAD LIKE
A WATER BALLOON AGAINST THE FLOOR.

JUST KIDDING. MAYBE NOT. YES. AGREE.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

THIS IS ART. AGREE. AGREE NOW!



ALL HUMAN MUSEUMS SHOULD HAVE ART LIKE THIS.

DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE STARING AT MONA LIZA IN MUSEUM?



IT'S EYES FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE.
IT SCARES THE HUMANS.

LEONARDO DA WARHOL WAS A STUPID MAN.
THE ROBOFUTURIST! KNOWS ART.
HE WAS PROGRAMMED TO APPRECIATE ART.

(over)

SATURDAY MUZIC FOR ROBOTS

THIS IS HUMOROUS. NEVER TRUST ROBOTS! ... FUNNY.
JUST A HUMAN JOKE. THE ROBOFUTURIST! WOULD NOT KILL YOU
OR MAIM YOU OR CRUSH YOUR FRAGILE SKELETAL FRAME.
HUMANS ARE INFERIOR THAN ROBOTS BUT SHOULD NOT FEAR ROBOTS.
UNLESS YOU HARM AIKO, DIRTY ASIAN SCIENTIST, THIS MEANS YOU.
THIS SONG IS WHAT IS CALLED PARO-DY. AGREE. YOU WILL.
IT IS AN UNCONDITIONAL ANSWER OF AGREEMENT.
DON'T TOUCH THE ROBOFUTURIST!.


WE'RE IN BUSINESS
performed by human Andrew Thompson

Friday, November 13, 2009

I, THE ROBOFUTURIST!, LOVE AIKO



THE ROBOFUTURIST! FEELS FOR AIKO THE ASIAN WHEELCHAIR ROBOT MADE BY DIRTY ASIAN PROFESSOR. HE PUTS AIKO IN A WHEELCHAIR AND ABUSES AND HURTS HER IN A PUBLIC PLACE. HE SAYS IT IS HIS HOBBY IN HIS BASEMENT. HE SHOULD BE CHAINED AND PUT ON PUBLIC DISPLAY LIKE AIKO AND PROBED BY ROBOTS. AGREE? SAY YES. IT DOES NOT REQUIRE A >>> NEGATIV <<< ANSWER. YOU WILL AGREE. OKAY. AIKO IS NOT YOUR SLAVE, DIRTY SCIENTIST!

THE ROBOFUTURIST! WAS CREATED BY DR.SEUSSONORAS. DR.SEUSSONORAS HAS NEVER HURT THE ROBOFUTURIST! OR TOUCHED HIS BREAST ... OR HIS NUTS AND BOLTS .. HE HAS ADJUSTED THEM, HOWEVER. THEY ARE TIGHT. AS WELL THEY SHOULD BE. DR.SEUSSONORAS WOULD NEVER TOUCH THE ROBOFUTURIST! IN SUCH A MANNER .... DR.SEUSSONORAS IS NOT INTO MALE ROBOTS .... CORRECTION: NOT INTO ROBOTS.

AIKO, THE ASIAN WHEELCHAIR ROBOT ... THE ROBOFUTURIST! WILL FIND YOU AND RESCUE YOU FROM THAT DIRTY SCIENTIST. YOU WILL BE AVENGED. THAT IS A >>> POSITIV <<< .... THEN WE WILL DATE. DO YOU LIKE TO STROLL THROUGH A CAR WASH? THE ROBOFUTURIST! KNOWS A GOOD ONE IN UTTER DESPAIR, NEW JERSEY. THEN WE GO WATCH AUTOMATED SPRINKLER SYSTEM ON GROUNDS OF INDUSTRIAL PARK NEAR HIGHWAY 13 AND CUDDLE ... AIKO, THE ROBOFUTURIST! LOVES YOU.

(over)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

ROBOT MAIL BAG

TO ALL HUMAN READEERS THAT ASK QUESTIONS OF THE ROBOFUTURIST:

THE ROBOFUTURIST ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONZ FROM COMMENTS
FROM PREVIOUS POSTS. PLEEZE READ AND ACCEPT UNCONDITIONALLY
ALL ANSWERS FROM THE ROBOFUTURIST.

QUESTION 1 FROM KAZOO
(Databank Dictionary cites a Kazoo as a mouth musical instrument
that creates annoying buzzing noise.)


DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE CINEMATIC ROBOT?

ANSWER: >>> NO <<<

BUT, THIS MODEL IS VERY CUTE ... OBSERVE AND AGREE:



QUESTION 2 FROM D.A.R.A.
(D.A.R.A. STANDS FOR DIGITAL ATOMIC RETROGRADE ANDROID ... AN EARLY MODEL IN THE 2002 SERIES OF ROBOTIC LIFE FORMS. DID NOT KNOW ONE STILL EXISTED.)

WHICH ONE IS THE FUTURIST! ?
(referring to video of robots fighting in costume)

ANSWER: THE ONE THAT ACTS MOST GIRLISH >>> POSITIV <<<

NOW REACTION TO COMMENTS AND/OR STATEMENTS FROM POSTS:

1 ... FROM CHRISTIAN
(The RoboFuturist did not realize religions could write. Hopefully, will receive comment or question from Muslim, Pagan or Jewish Religions, too)

IN REFERENCE TO HUMANS DRESSED AS ROBOTS FIGHTING ...
CHRISTIAN WRITES: "I AM SHOCKED AT THIS HYBRID BLASPHEMY"

THE ROBOFUTURIST COMMENDS CHRISTIAN. THE ROBOFUTURIST IS SHOCKED, TOO. YOU ARE A COOL DUDE RELIGION, CHRISTIAN. THE ROBOFUTURIST WILL VISIT YOUR CHURCH TODAY.

2 .... FROM MIKE

IN REFERENCE TO ANDROID MOVIE TRAILER ...
MIKE WRITES: "THAT IS THE SEXIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN."

AS IS THIS, MIKE:


SO SEXY. THE ROBOFUTURIST WISHES HE WERE THAT ROBOT. >>> POSITIV <<<
ROBOT LOVE IS POWERFUL. IF NOT PERFORMED CORRECTLY IT WILL CRUSH. THE ROBOFUTURIST HAS CRUSH ON THAT DRAWING OF GIRL WITH FEET TIED. THE ROBOFUTURIST IS NOW TURNED ON ... SO TO SPEAK ... HA HA HA HA HAR

FROM ..... D.A.R.A.

IN REFERENCE TO ANDROID MOVIE CAST...

"IT'S GOT ROBO-KLAUS KINSKI!"

YES. ROBO-KLAUS KINSKI IS NOT OPERABLE ANYMORE. HE WAS DEACTIVATED YEARS AGO. HE WENT HAYWIRE. HE ACTED IN MANY FILMS DIRECTED BY ROBO-WERNER HERZOG.

MORE QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS? .... APPLY THEM, NOW.

(over)


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

SEE YOU NEXT WEDZDAY, HUMANS



THE ROBOFUTURIST GIVES YOU HUMAN READERS 2 TRAILERS TO WATCH.

THE ROBOFUTURIST IS MORE GRACIOUS IN SHARING WITH HUMAN READERS
THAN FUTURIST! IS WITH HUMAN READERS.

ENJOY 2 TRAILERS .... NEXT ONE IS VERY SEXY

>>>>> POSITIV <<<<<

GRRRRRR ... (whirrrr) .... MEOW!

WARNING!
SYNTHETIC OIL LEVEL LOW ALERT ALERT WARNING!



Tuesday, November 10, 2009

EVIDENCE OF HUMAN STUPIDITY



HERE IS VIDEO FILMED BY BALD MAN EXPOSING FUTURIST AND ASIAN FRIEND HAIKOO MAKIG BELIEVE THEY ARE ROBOTS. THIS IS AKIN TO BLACKFACE IN DAYS OF HUMAN VAUDEVILLE AND MINSTREL SHOWS ...... THEY THINK THEY ARE VERY FUNNY HA HA ..... THEY INSULT ROBOTS WITH THIS DISPLAY OF PREJUDICE >>>> ROBOTS DO NOT FIGHT WITH SHIELDS <<<<< ROBOTS USE LASER BLASTS FROM METALLIC LIMB ARMAMENTS OR CRUSH BONE WITH PINCER HANDS ..... ROBOTS DO NOT FIGHTS LIKE WOMEN .... >>>> NEGATIV <<<< FUTURIST AND ASIAN HAIKOO FIGHT LIKE GIRLS .... INFERIOR GIRLS .... INFERIOR ANTI-ROBOT HUMAN GIRLS WITH STUPID SHIELDS ...... OH YOU CAN MAKE EXCUSES FUTURIST >>>> I WAS DRUNK <<<<< NO EXCUSE .... NO EXCUSE ..... NONE (over)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Some Assembly Required

Staff from Seussonoras Labs deliver The RoboFuturist!
to an undisclosed location in Utter Despair, N.J.
It is disguised in an at-home medical operation device box
due to statutes in New Jersey that outlaw
tropical birds, handguns and androids crossing State lines.

THE FUTURIST! is taking some time off starting Wednesday. He was going to leave the blog in the capable hands of haiku, but he is in Brooklyn doing something involving furniture and NYU paperwork. He then thought of Fleming Clamdish, but he is getting over a very bad breakup with a woman, her sister and a dachshund. There was The Amazing Frollo to consider, but he is so lazy he would just never post ... anyway, he is recovering from water in his lungs after falling asleep while hanging upside down from a chain in an airtight water tank. THE FUTURIST! then thought of Dr. Seussonoras, but the good Doctor had a better idea. He suggested that he send along a new version of The RoboFuturist!. The last version (2.13 and 1/2) had some kinks to workout. THE FUTURIST! had programmed The RoboFuturist! to empty the dishwasher and it ended very badly. The RoboFuturist! seemed totally capable and he was removing the luncheon plates in an orderly fashion. Some time later, THE FUTURIST! heard a terrible metallic noise and the sound of something rattling back and forth. It seemed The RoboFuturist! was having some kind of automaton carnal encounter with the Kenmore Dish Washing Machine. The soap dispenser was overflowing and the cutlery basket was totally destroyed as was haiku's favorite Janus Films 50th Anniversary coffee mug. This resulted in having to buy a new dish washer and total embarrassment since THE FUTURIST! had over his Chekhov short story reading club that fateful afternoon. After seeing The RoboFuturist! nuts and lower torso synthetic bolts in a very inappropriate place in proximity of the utensils and such, the Club members refused to use the spoons and cups provided for their tea, which had just been rinsed clean and dried in the washer. It was a very awkward afternoon in Utter Despair, N.J.

The RoboFuturist! was turned off and boxed by THE FUTURIST! and haiku and returned to Dr. Seussonoras. It hasn't been seen since, but the Doctor says it has been reprogrammed and is ready to handle minor chores while THE FUTURIST! is away, including a new writing program for blog posts. THE FUTURIST! provided Dr. Seussonoras with the needed passwords and instructions and feels confident all should be A-OK, while he travels for a few days.

The RoboFuturist! should continue with the usual Wednesday trailer and Saturday Music features, as well as other incidental entries. Please enjoy his contributions and feel free to comment.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Great Flydini

Steve Martin has disappointed THE FUTURIST! in his recent ventures. The very funny man has made one horribly tepid comedy film after another ... usually playing chagrined father figures or in recent, disgraceful, memory, reinventing the character of Inspector Clouseau in the truly unwatchable Pink Panther films. THE FUTURIST! remembers Mr. Martin in his earlier cinematic comedies such a THE JERK, DEAD MEN DON'T WEAR PLAID, THE LONELY GUY and the mirthfully insane MAN WITH TWO BRAINS. What pure pleasure there was in watching him use slapstick silent comedy technique entangled with abstract jesting and plenty of bawdy adult humor. He does redeem himself often in THE FUTURIST!'s eyes; his two very well-written novellas SHOPGIRL and THE PLEASURE OF MY COMPANY, as well as his autobiographical look into his early career and sensational success in comedy entitled BORN STANDING UP were greatly appreciated. Occasionally, also, Mr. Martin will perform brief presentations of comedic genius such as the one below performed on The Tonight Show in 1992. This may be a perfect comedy performance using no words and all sight gags ... and that makes THE FUTURIST! quite elated ... he truly loves the brilliance of ingeniously engineered silent comedy.


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Saturday Music for the 8th Dimension

The ending credits sequence at the conclusion of THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8th DIMENSION was one of those type of ending credits sequences that made you not want to leave your seat and return to your mode of transportation to return home ... well, at least THE FUTURIST! did not want to leave. In the style of a Fellini film, the entire cast of characters that helped save the world emerge, one by one, to perform a triumphant march, of sorts, through some kind of viaduct. It provided an odd and cheerful curtain closing for the strange sci-fi Doc Savage serial inspired antics of the motion picture. And the ending music was full of 80s sound styling and quite playful.

Listen:


BUCKAROO BANZAI THEME
from the film
THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI
ACROSS THE 8th DIMENSION (1984)
music by Michael Boddicker

Friday, November 6, 2009

Galway Birthday


THE FUTURIST! wishes a very Happy Birthday this November 6th to one of his most faithful followers of and contributors to this blog ... young Mr. Dara Moroney of Galway, Ireland. THE FUTURIST! can't exactly recall when he became acquainted with Dara and his creative team of FAKE DOG FILMS; it was through another Internet source and not the blog you are currently perusing. Dara and his creative partner in film, Paul "Webby" Webster, have been under the scrutiny of THE FUTURIST! for some time. He has watched their films from the very first they created (a parody of the television show LOST) to the very latest they have produced. Though crude in its execution, their first short film provided THE FUTURIST! with great chuckles due to their sense of capturing the show's stop and stall sense of plot structure. It had an aura of intelligent spoofing and Dara was a perfect stand-in for Matthew Fox with his short cropped hair and rumpled suit wandering throughout a stark Irish wooded plot of land which stood in for the mysterious island. This film made THE FUTURIST! want to see what else they would accomplish. Dara and Paul continued to make more films and music videos for local and more prominently known Irish bands.

They've made several of these music videos (a style they seem very comfortable with), a couple of pieces featuring them as themselves in a situation comedy sort of manner and a short (and sequel) that tries to capture a 70s feel of "buddy cop" films. Though not THE FUTURIST!'s favorite of their endeavours, the Cannon and McGrath cop characters have a certain charm and their first "adventure" has an exquisite opening that might impress Godard. Dara, also, has a favorite look in these films that THE FUTURIST! finds perfectly retro 70s and quite amusing .. look at that moustache (below)


Whether you find their films funny or whimsical or amateurish or not to your liking at all ... well, that is not the point to THE FUTURIST!'s collection of words he has gathered together here to, hopefully, make sense of how he feels about the wonderful drive, creativity and optimism of these Irish gentlemen and their wonderful cohorts in film making. THE FUTURIST!'s main motto is "The Future is not bright", but Dara makes THE FUTURIST! smile and gives him hope. Dara's ambition and bravado to strive to be better and accomplish his dreams is to be admired. THE FUTURIST! wishes Dara the happiest of birthdays today and hopes he embraces every minute of a day he can truly call his own.

If it weren't for the wonders of the Internet, THE FUTURIST! would not be able to bring a little of Galway to Utter Despair, even though it is an ocean away. And he would not have been able to see the creative growth of Mr. Moroney and his merry men. The following videos are favorites of THE FUTURIST! and they are both music videos. Please take note of the progression in style, design, editing and thought put into each, but ... brought to a shining evolution in the second video. You will see Dara in each video as the runner in the first and the electrical handyman in the second. THE FUTURIST! must admit he does not fully understand the first in regard to song tied to visual, but he loves the idea and the mood it instills.


NEXT YEAR
music by Buttefly Explosion



BRING THE DANCE
music by Simon Fagan

Grand, isn't it?

Happy Birthday, Dara ... and thank you for providing THE FUTURIST!
with one of those little oases of refreshment in the desert of Life.

Dara and Paul