Good Midnight on Halloween To YOU!

WATCH THE HYPNO SWIRL
AND LISTEN TO THE VOICE ...

YES ... YES ... YES ... YES ...

THE FUTURIST! Presents Halloween Safety from 1977

THE FUTURIST! finds this Halloween Educational Safety film to be wonderfully pessimistic and full of potential despair. In fact, after viewing it, you'd never want to trick or treat again. Why? Well, you might wear the wrong costume that may make you fall in the street and get run over by a car, wear the most overly paranoid prepared apparel and people may poison your treats or stick sharp things in your candy, so you and Mom must perform an autopsy on EVERY piece of candy in your treat bag.

Part 1

Part 2

See You Next Wednesday!

Costumes and Ice Scream Cakes

Some nostalgic commercials from years gone by ... for the Spooky Season from Utter Despair NJ television lost airwaves.

Remember those Halloween costumes with those plastic masks and the rubber band-like string that secured the mask around your head? That elastic string always gave THE FUTURIST! an irritating red mark behind his small ears. The eye holes on the masks were scary, too. Every time you blinked you could feel the sharp plastic edges scrape your tender eye lids. Very often it was so chilly on Halloween night you had to wear a jacket over that thin cheap costume that covered your torso. You walked around like Batman or Captain America wearing a hooded parka. How humiliating and destructive to the aura of your surreal reality.

And no Halloween was complete without the annual airings of Carvel Cakes. These local ads feature the voice of Tom Carvel. He sounded as if he was bloated on his own ice cream products and need to belch for at least an hour. FACT: THE FUTURIST! never had a Dumpy the Pumpkin or Wicki the Witch. He did once have a piece of the Carvel Thanksgiving Ice Cream Cake, however.