Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Amazing Frollo's Really Lazy Last Minute Favorite Scary/Funny Film List

The Amazing Frollo is a magician, of sorts, that THE FUTURIST! has made the acquaintance of ... and he is the most blatantly worst magician he has ever seen. His "tricks" and his showmanship of illusion are quite anti-climatic. He has attempted to vanish and escape from strait-jackets and water tanks, but has usually fallen asleep during the attempt. It may be narcolepsy, but THE FUTURIST! believes it is pure laziness. The Amazing Frollo has the constitution of a garden slug. He barely can dress himself. He can rarely be relied upon for anything. He has been lucky that his cheap sideshow accomplices have saved his life the hundreds of times he has fallen into a sleepy stupor in an airtight trunk or, as mentioned, a locked water tank wherein he has almost drowned many times. Why s he a magician? Why does he persist in this half-assed attempts at prestidigitation? THE FUTURIST! doesn't know ... but he is continuously amazed at The Amazing Frollo.

In the above photo, he is pictured in a trunk during a recent show at the Marriott Marquis Theater in Manhattan. He fell asleep in the trunk pictured above during his show. The lock was not unlatched, due to the fact that his assistant was arrested for male sexual solicitation during intermission and he had the only key. The stage hands at the theater put the trunk, with Frollo inside, in the standby parking area of the Marriott Marquis Hotel and it was mistakenly picked up with other hotel guest luggage. In this case, it was included among Broadway diva Bernadette Peters' personal bags and transferred to Branson, Missouri where she was doing a revival of ANNIE GET YOUR GUN. The Amazing Frollo is currently awaiting bail in a "Show Me State" city jail.

In the spirit of his supreme mastery of sloth, The Amazing Frollo waited until Halloween to add his list of SHOCKtober film favorites. Here they are:


This may not be considered a horror, but it has ghosts in it so I don't care. It also scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. And it's also one of the best comedies ever made, hands down.

Young Frankenstein
Somehow or another, Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks managed to make the definitive Frankenstein movie. Brooks' direction is faithful in a way that he would somehow forget to replicate in every other movie he made afterwards.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes
This film manages to be both a brilliant satire of awful low budget 80s horror flicks, and an awful low budget 80s horror flick. And George Clooney was absolutely charming, even back then.

An American Werewolf in London
John Landis' love letter to the monster movie genre is a good old-fashioned horror disguised as one of them newfangled gorefests. It could have fit right in in the 1940s, had the Hays Code not explicitly prohibited the depiction of werewolf penis.

Shaun of the Dead
This film really surprised me when I first saw it. I was expecting a funny zombie movie, but what I got was a brilliantly crafted comedy with scares and romance and fight choreography set to Queen. The total package, really.

Evil Dead II
I remember one of my friends brought this to a sleepover party that I had and I was disappointed that it wasn't as bad as Evil Dead I. But it does have Bruce Campbell going insane for 45 minutes, and that you can't really beat.

Something about this movie utterly appealed to me as a child, and for that I will always love it. I think it might have been the complete and utter silliness of everything that happens in the film. I've always been a sucker for that sort of thing.

Arsenic and Old Lace
Okay, this is really stretching the definition of horror, but I'd be remiss if I didn't put it on here. It's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, and a great way to spend two nice cozy hours at the end of Halloween.

You will notice there are only 8 and not 10 films in the list. In the spirit of his inertia, The Amazing Frollo could only transcribe 8, before succumbing to a loss of energy. He was then shot out of a cannon into a vat of beer at a recent Oktoberfest.


Dara said...

I don't like the first evil Dead, but the second one is great!


You know, The Amazing Frollo can imitate the Dead, but in his case, it would be the Lazy Dead. The movie would have no action, no terror.