Sunday, May 29, 2011

Sunday Funnies: Bob Hope

May 29, 1903 was the year of birth of Bob Hope.

Soon THE FUTURIST! will continue his Bob Hope Film Project.
Last year, starting May 29, he began watching Bob Hope films
in chronological order (those available for home viewing) which
started with THE BIG BROADCAST OF 1938.
The 1st wave of Hope films ended with ROAD TO RIO (1947).
THE FUTURIST! will begin the 2nd part of his Hope retrospective
with THE PALEFACE (1948) and continue to the end of Hope's film career.

Here is a trailer to one of his funniest films:


THE PRINCESS AND THE PIRATE (1944)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Saturday Music with a Native American Chant

Dr. Porto, THE FUTURIST!'s acquaintance of the psychiatric profession, can be very mysterious, enigmatic and, oft times, suspected of evil manipulation. Sometimes he can be a marvel of discovery. He can make one see parts of themselves that they never explored before or enlighten areas of the mind that have never had a spotlight centered on in exposure ... however, in Dr. Porto's case it would be a strobe light.

THE FUTURIST! is very fond of the sound of Harpers Bizarre. They provide that dreamy, semi-psychedelic sound of the late 6os/early 70s that he enjoys so very much. He owns a recording of their best songs. He has been in search of one of their songs on YouTube that he wanted to add to his Saturday Music offerings. He could never find it to share with his audience.

Recently, through mere serendipity, THE FUTURIST! was treated to a discovery of a recording he can share. It was provided by the sinister, friendly, egomaniacal, yet self doubting Dr. Porto. It appears that he found it through a Russian source. Dr. Porto has connections all over the world. He has shared living quarters with a Slavic roommate of dubious background and since had to find other dwelling arrangements. HE has Asian connections both through travel and carnal desire. Dr. Porto is a fount of information regarding film, music, food and psychological torture. THE FUTURIST! is so glad he met him ... and at the same time, a bit frightened.

Please enjoy the dreamy sound of Harpers Bizarre as they intone this odd song that THE FUTURIST! could listen to again and again.

It is one of his little pleasures in life.

Listen:



WITCHI TAI TO
performed by Harpers Bizarre

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Saturday Music for Happy Goths

Yesterday, THE FUTURIST! encountered two people, male and female, apparently a couple, who were dressed all in black. They both had inky black hair, obviously painted with chemical coloring and were pasty white in complexion. Could their skin actually be that pale? Was it made to appear so with the aid of some kind of talcum powder? There was a scent that surrounded them that had a hint of a cinnamon or some kind of herb that one would find cloying if it were used to excess ... but they seemed to have mathematically calculated just the right amount to apply to their skin or clothing without being atmospherically overbearing. THE FUTURIST! knew that these two were either the undead that had to have risen due to the impending Rapture that was predicted by religious nut cases for May 21, 2011 or they were just what society terms as GOTHS. Well, since the end of the world had not transpired, THE FUTURIST! surmised they were Goth-type people. Their attire and general physical appearance that they wished to show the public would seem to express sadness, death and general creepiness. However, they were very pleasant, polite and smiling. THE FUTURIST! spoke with them for a few moments and directed them to an address that they were seeking in Utter Despair, NJ. They thanked him and moved on with very warm smiles.

THE FUTURIST! thought of one his favorite singer/composers Neil Hannon/The Divine Comedy and this very clever song that has has some lyrics that THE FUTURIST! finds very amusing. It's about a parent and his Goth daughter and in his description of his offspring he uses these lines to tell us of her appearance:

"Well, her clothes are blacker than the blackest cloth
And her face is whiter than the snows of Hoth"

Using the STAR WARS ice planet to describe her skin is very witty.

Listen:


THE HAPPY GOTH
performed by The Divine Comedy

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... is there a YouTube video that features
death scenes from 36 of Alfred Hitchcock's movies,
that is synchronised to climax in unison?


Sunday, May 15, 2011

THE FUTURIST!'s Sunday Service

Today Willie Pollard talks about a woman named Joan
who gets lost a lot and never finds her way to her destination.
This is tale (told in sleep inducing monotone) is only to lead her
into a very clever metaphor using a GPS device
to proselytize her beliefs on her audience.

Sly Willie Pollard! You fooled THE FUTURIST!



THE FUTURIST! was given a GPS for his car on his birthday last April 25th.
So, far it has not led him to belief in anything but frustration and not
wanting to get into the damn car. If he was only as calm as Willie Pollard.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Saturday Music that Bids Bon Voyage

THE FUTURIST! posts this very late entry in his Saturday Music series after a very busy weekend ... oh, boy. Usually THE FUTURIST! plans his Saturday Music features in advance. Sometimes he has had last minute inspiration. Oft times the Saturday Music post is inspired by personal experience of the past or present ... sometimes a mere quirk of happenstance. Today THE FUTURIST! posts this entry which is a favorite of an acquaintance who is going to travel to Europe this week ... most specifically the faraway world of Great Britain. One day THE FUTURIST! hopes to travel to that area of the world and visit his correspondents in Scotland and Ireland and England, but for now he must only fantasize and live vicariously through others and their real life escapes. Most appropriately, this tune is from a English pop group of some time ago.

Bon voyage, M.H.

Safe travel and safe return.

* Pssst! Next week THE FUTURIST! promises to get
more personal with his Saturday Music entry!

Listen:


SAVE IT FOR LATER
performed by The English Beat

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

See You Mercredi Prochain!


VIVRE SA VIE (1962)
dir: Jean-Luc Godard

* A special Happy Birthday trailer
dedicated to THE FUTURIST!'s good friend
Mr. Michael Capio, faculty member of The School of Visual Arts,
gallery curator and incomprehensible genius.
If it wasn't for Michael showing this film to
THE FUTURIST! one New Year's Eve, THE FUTURIST!
would not have felt reinvigorated about the mysteries
and soul stirrings of cinema. It was like another
strange continent of the visual was explored in
the glow of the darkness of movie watching.

Happy Birthday, good friend.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

THE FUTURIST!'s Recurring Dream


This may be how it ends.
Strange, however.
THE FUTURIST! is very scared of heights.

*photo courtesy of OLD HOLLYWOOD

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Saturday Music from THE FUTURIST!'s Cluttered Closet

In the continual cleansing that consumes THE FUTURIST! in a semi-monthly mission, new discoveries are continuously made in the cluttered closet of his tangible memories... especially in the form of record albums. Among the many records secreted in the back of the closet, THE FUTURIST! found one of his favorite Elvis Costello recordings. The album is called TRUST and if memory serves THE FUTURIST! correctly, it was the one Costello LP he played the most. It was one of those records that rarely had the needle lifted to bypass a track, hover indecisively over the rotating album and then placed elsewhere with that wonderful audible "plonk" and "hiss".


There are many great songs on the album ... in THE FUTURIST!'s humble opinion.
CLUBLAND
FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM (featuring G. Tilbrook of SQUEEZE)
WATCH YOUR STEP
SHOT WITH HIS OWN GUN and more.

A favorite of the many is the one featured below.

Listen:


NEW LACE SLEEVES
performed by Elvis Costello

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Top Ten Future Movie Hits of 1971

1. FIDDLER ON THE ROOF

2. THE FRENCH CONNECTION

3. SUMMER OF '42

4. DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

5. DIRTY HARRY

6. CARNAL KNOWLEDGE

7. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

8. KLUTE

9. THE LAST PICTURE SHOW

10. BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

See You Next Wednesday!


THE BLACK MARBLE (1980)
dir: Harold Becker

* One of THE FUTURIST!'s favorite films.
Great characters, cinematography by Owen Roizman,
direction by Becker and music by Maurice Jarre & Richard Bowden.
Script by the author Joseph Wambaugh from his novel.
A great blending of a crime story with a love story
featuring nuanced characters who are all very lonely.
Even the bad guy.

THE FUTURIST! Loves America

After watching these videos THE FUTURIST! is so proud to be
an American living in Utter Despair and no where near this American:



and these Americans:



Thanks to director Edgar Wright for the first video
(no he did nor direct it. IT IS REAL!)
and Mr. Matthew Henderson for the patriotic wrestling mania.

THE FUTURIST! feels he would be man-raped in either scenario.

Monday, May 2, 2011

BREAKING CABLE TV NEWS!

NEWS FLASH:

Osama Bin Laden's human shield trophy wife is no longer a member
of the cast of BRAVO's proposed HOUSEWIVES OF ABBOTTABAD.