Wes Anderson in a THE FUTURIST! Kind of Holiday Mind

Deep Fried Bird

For the last several years, THE FUTURIST! has attended a Thanksgiving get-together that has, as it's main entree, a turkey that is deep fried in boiling peanut oil. This is dangerous procedure and actually becomes an event in itself ... a visual process that the host conducts in the backyard. Below is a video on the preparation and the results. If you do do this, remember to keep children and pets away from the device, unless, they are children and pets you don't very much enjoy to be around. THE FUTURIST! jokes, of course. No, he doesn't ... today's festivities will involve obnoxious children and some rather distasteful adults ... but no pets, in fact a loving beautiful pet, preferably a canine, would be welcome.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING from Utter Despair, N.J., dear readers!

See You Next Wednesday! (Thanksgiving Edition)

A big favorite of THE FUTURIST! and a movie
that begins and ends with a Thanksgiving meal.

Lofty Ideas

FOUR BRILLIANT THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE BALLOON IDEAS
FROM THE FUTURIST! THAT WERE SCOFFED AT BY MACY'S CORPORATE EXECUTIVES:

THE HINDENBURG

THE HEAD OF JOHN THE BAPTIST

A BIRTH CONTROL DEVICE

SPANISH OLIVES

A Very Sad Thanksgiving Memory

THE FUTURIST! must hold back his tears remembering a Thanksgiving many years ago when he was inadvertedly left behind on a cold windy cloudy November day on the NJ Shore by his Aunt Abigail. THE FUTURIST!'s parents had gone to Aunt Abigail's beach front home for the Thanksgiving holiday. After claiming to not have an adequate white wine for the repast, THE FUTURIST!'s parents allowed Aunt Abigail to take THE BABY FUTURIST! for a stroll on the desolate beach on her way to the local liquor emporium.

How did this happen? A baby left alone in the sand?

Well, it appears that Aunt Abigail, on her way back from her leisurely walk with THE BABY FUTURIST! to the Seaside Liquor Store for the holiday libations, became a bit infatuated with her purchases and partook of a 6 pack of an inferior beer and a bottle of Riesling. She then, while mumbling something about a husband of dubious birth, decided to take a cold dip in the sea and never came back. THE FUTURIST!'s first encounter with a Thanksgiving fowl was not with a turkey ... it was a large tern or seagull who pecked at him for minutes on end until the Shore Patrol found him. To this day, THE FUTURIST! cannot abide seagulls. Recently, he and haiku stopped at a roadside Fast Food establishment for lunch and ate outside. THE FUTURIST! suffered a panic attack when a large seagull fluttered down to investigate his french fries. On immediate sight of the flying fowl poking into his side dish, he screamed like a woman.

Thanksgiving B.C.

Little Peter Hollinsberry sold this crude drawing to haiku, THE FUTURIST!'s aide-de-camp, for $20. He claimed it was a drawing made by cave people 4000 yrs. ago and proved that Thanksgiving was first celebrated by Cro-Magnons, Swamp Creatures and blue dinosaurs. THE FUTURIST! is not exactly happy that haiku was fleeced and that he is, apparently, as dense as a shag rug. haiku? Aren't you a college graduate? THE FUTURIST! is naming Peter as his 2009 Holiday Hero for using such American ingenuity and know-how to swindle an easy mark. A fine young American!

Pilgrim Pez

The Pilgrim Pez dispenser (seen first in this series of early American Pez creations) was a fascinating arcane addition to the PEZ Candy universe back in the 1970's. THE FUTURIST! has been on the outlook for one for years! Rumor has it that the dispenser only used candy tablets that tasted like turkey, cranberry, yams, carrots and corn. The most bizarre flavors were Pearl Onion and Beet. THE FUTURIST! wants this as much as the obscure Botswanian Cannibal Pygmy PEZ Dispenser which had tablets that tasted of HUMAN FLESH!