Monday, June 28, 2010

Who is Jessica Sargent?

THE FUTURIST! has no idea who Jessica Sargent is, but this very interestingly compiled visual title credit list of her Top 100 Films is very watchable. THE FUTURIST! posted it here for this Monday so you can experience it, as well.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Saturday Music that Surprises

Yesterday, THE FUTURIST! heard some outdoor music. It was quite warm out and people gathered, as they do in the Summertime, to convene in parks to socialize, sit out in the sun and just relax under the brightness of lazy hazy day. The small band in the park played some Lady Ga Ga song. They were older gents with a young woman on violin. They reminded THE FUTURIST! of the performance below and the song that is performed. Appearance and production don't always go hand in hand ... and that is mostly a good thing. It's best to expect the unexpected. THE FUTURIST! loves when appearances deceive. It makes him feel Life can be quite surprising and worth the time.


performed by The Ukulele Orchestra Of Great Britain

Thursday, June 24, 2010

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a Psychosis!

UTTER Despair is co-ordinating a celebration of the 25th anniversary of the release of the motion picture based on the Marvel comic book character HOWARD THE DUCK next Summer in 2011. The city council is accepting photographs and videos sent in by people who wish to portray Howard the Duck in the planned celebratory parade. Of course, most of the videos are by "little people" and some people who look like water fowl ... physically look like water fowl. Or other types of ideas ... such as:

It's pretty pathetic. The response has been quite unexpectedly large. One of the videos sent in was mistakenly re-directed and was meant for another comic book celebration. Jobs are scarce in this economy and it is wonderful to see people go out of their way to grab hold onto some form of employment ... grasp onto a dream ... people like the gentleman in the following video. He's an inspiration to everyone.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

See You Next Wednesday!

dir: George P. Cosmatos

Trailer plus Teaser Trailer!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Tale from The Utter Despair Woods

Could this be Dr. Porto and Nurse Lutz?

THE FUTURIST! started his 1st day of vacation (and 1st day of Summer) with an alarming awakening. A terrible head throbbing has troubled THE FUTURIST! since Saturday evening. It has him quite worried. No headache medication seems to abate the dull throb. He even took a cat nap to quell the waves of pain. Cat naps are usually very restorative. Today, he arose to greet June 21st and found the dull pain was still present. He began to think what could it be? Does he need a new eyeglass prescription? Oh, no ... could it be sympathetic pain from a tooth going to rot? The thoughts of its origins began to make his head spin. He had breakfast (coffee and two small round waffles) and decided to take a solitary walk in nature. Perhaps, the exercise would help, as suggested by a physician he knew.

About 15 minutes into his ambulatory adventure, he encountered an odd and disconcerting sight. THE FUTURIST! saw two people, male and female dressed in Autumnal type wardrobe and wearing masks of an avian nature. THE FUTURIST! snapped proof with his Hipstermatic. (PICTURED ABOVE) They just stood there silent and unmoving. THE FUTURIST! could see their eyes darting about watching his every move as he approached. At first he did not notice the strange Wicker Man/Eyes Wide Shut facial adornment. It just seemed as if two people were out and about just as THE FUTURIST! was this June morning. But, closer inspection brought to sight the strange bird masks ... and waves of other worldly awkwardness and sweaty fear to THE FUTURIST!.

Who were these bizarre people? THE FUTURIST! noticed the female was carrying a small book or pamphlet with these words on the front, which were not obscured by her gloved hand:


The man had a small pair of binoculars in his left gloved hand. They both just stood there immobile as THE FUTURIST! trudged past them ... their eyes moving slowly in his direction. He nodded in a casual unassuming stranger meeting stranger manner. The woman slowly raised her hand to make a notation in her book as she watched THE FUTURIST!. They did not respond in any way to his nod of notification. THE FUTURIST! walked on and glanced back and saw them both looking around the tree they were planted in front of ... their attention on his passing form. The slight breeze stirred the fluffy feather-like material on their masks. He heard a murmur ... a hushed whisper from one or both of the odd strangers.

THE FUTURIST! walked on and felt his fear subside ... who were they? Were they insane? Was he insane? Was this a hallucination brought on by his throbbing head? Did this mean he had a tumor that caused images to be produced from his addled brain? His pace became quicker and doubled back down another path and returned to his home.

As he poured himself a small gin and tonic, he realized the headache was gone ... he felt fine. He had tried everything to relieve the pain, medication, naps, a hot shower, ice pack and even had to resort to calling his nemesis the infamous psychiatrist Dr. Alexander Porto, a physician known for his vast knowledge, his shady practices of treatment, his love of David Lynch films, his obsession with Japanese women and his reputation for being a horrible human being. Dr. Porto had told THE FUTURIST! that he could do nothing for him and that he had to suffer .. it was all in his mind, but a walk in the woods might help to alleviate the stress. Headaches, he said, were psychological - WAIT! Psychological!?? The book the girl had was a psychological tome of sorts. The girl ... that man ... Could it be? Was that man Dr. Porto and the woman his sexually charged manipulative vixen of a medical assistant Nurse Lutz? Was this some form of trickery to abuse THE FUTURIST!? He would not put it past Dr. Porto to do this ... to frighten him in a time of loneliness and pain.

THE FUTURIST! called Dr. Porto's office immediately and was put on hold. He listened to a recording of Black Moth Super Rainbow as he waited. Finally, Dr. Porto got on the line. THE FUTURIST! started off by reminding Porto of his call the night before. Dr. Porto replied, "I never spoke to you. You are mistaken. What are you talking about?" THE FUTURIST! became agitated and began again and asked if he had seen them in the woods with bird masks. THE FUTURIST! mentioned his headache and how Dr. Porto had said a walk might help the pain. Dr. Porto asked, "Pain? I never spoke to you, but do you have pain in your head?" THE FUTURIST! said it was gone, he felt better, the pain had still been there, but he had been frightened by the sight of these people in strange masks and then he felt the pain ebb away ...

"Ah, fright can do that, you know. It can aid in making pain dissipate. You should welcome the occasional fright ... the bizarre and uncanny. Sometimes, it can be your friend. Now, stop babbling and go about your odd life. I'm assisting Nurse Lutz in inserting sawdust into the body of a dead owl. She found it today in the woods. The little minx is taking a taxidermy class. You interrupted my aiding her in her homework. Goodbye, Fruitcake. Glad to hear the pain is gone. Don't get too excited. Or the headache will come back." And he hung up.

THE FUTURIST! was aggravated and exasperated. He decided to forget the Doctor and return to his Gin and Tonic. Unfortunately, his headache had decided to return to the Gin and Tonic, as well.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Saturday Music from Groucho

THE FUTURIST! is about to go on another respite from his daily toils ... another week of vacation. Even with the glimpse of freedom approximately 8 hours away or so, THE FUTURIST! still feels prickly and full of anarchy. In the spirit of such spirit, THE FUTURIST! offers up this Saturday's music selection ... a musical number from the great comedy HORSE FEATHERS featuring The Marx Brothers. This one has always been a THE FUTURIST! favorite due to the fact that there is no romantic subplot with several artificially sweet music numbers. This film is pure zaniness that is 2nd in delight to their classic DUCK SOUP. THE FUTURIST! , also, loves the point of plot that has Zeppo as the son of Groucho when Zeppo was actually, in reality, his younger brother.


written by Harry Ruby and Bert Kalmar
performed by Groucho Marx
(with help from Zeppo Marx and Chorus)
from the film

Friday, June 18, 2010

Saturday Matinee Understudy

Attention Theater Goers
holding tickets for Saturday's Matinee
Performance of
The Part of
will be played
by Randy Shelly

Thank You!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Memorable Luncheon

After a morning of tree branch severing at his Utter Despair, N.J. estate, THE FUTURIST! enjoyed a late lunch with his friend haiku (former aide de camp and Asian of unknown origins). They drove to The Utter Despair Diner and had an appetizer of Manhattan Clam Chowder and a hearty Cuban Sandwich (for THE FUTURIST!) and a Western Omelet (for haiku) with a side of French fries. THE FUTURIST! was very hungry due to his arduous arbor labor of sawing branches and then disposing of leafy cuttings in a barrel for weekly curbside waste pick-up. So, he suggested they have a Death By Chocolate dessert. It was quite an abdominal filling delight and caused both THE FUTURIST! and haiku to become overcome by digestive fatigue. They passed out, as pictured above, and were removed by a burly Latino busboy. haiku later claimed that the busboy may have fondled him while his half-conscious body was transported outside to the parking lot. haiku pondered whether he should contact an attorney. THE FUTURIST! told him to cherish it as a fond memory and go on with his taciturn existence and to think of it as the tip they forgot to leave behind after the meal.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

See You Next Wednesday!

PSYCHO (1960)
dir: Alfred Hitchcock

of the release of this film on June 16, 1960

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Saturday Music by The Divine Comedy

THE FUTURIST! loves The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon).
THE FUTURIST! felt a bit down in the dumps.
THE FUTURIST! always likes a bit of The Divine Comedy when he feels thus.
Ergo ...
today's Saturday Music post is the wonderful The Divine Comedy with a song
that sounds a bit like it could used for an airline commercial.
... even so ...


(side note: THE FUTURIST! loves the image of Billy Bird stationary on top of his suitcase holding it shut with his body weight with nothing but his necktie moving back and forth like a clockwork.)

performed by The Divine Comedy

Friday, June 11, 2010

3D Disease

from Cinematical

ABC reports that their Good Housekeeping tested 3D glasses at seven theaters in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. They found not one pair to be sterile. They report: "3D glasses given out at cinemas were found to be contaminated with bacteria that can cause conjunctivitis, skin infections, food poisoning, or even sepsis or pneumonia, but docs say that the germs found are no more threatening than what you find on the arm rest, box of popcorn, or movie seats."

THE FUTURIST! recalls seeing JAWS 3-D in the theater years ago. He was given those red and blue tinted paper glasses. After the film, no one collected the glasses after you departed the auditorium for re-use ... he took them home with him ... and he, also, took home a headache from watching the eye crossing blurry 3 dimensional film. At least he did not take home a viral plague.

Monday, June 7, 2010

THE FUTURIST! Doesn't Like Mondays

THE FUTURIST! wishes he could play the piano.
Really ... he really does wish he could play.
He'd play piano in some New Jersey bar/lounge.
He would. Okay ... it's a dream.
A dream that is financially impossible.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Saturday Music for Interplanetary Nonsense

In keeping with last week's Saturday Music post, THE FUTURIST! presents another tune introduced to him by another of his associates. The good Doctor Steven Seussonoras, genius inventor, musicologist, scientist, science fiction writer, thrift store enthusiast and renowned Michigan homosexual is a great fan of the singer/song writer Robyn Hitchcock. It is not known if the good Doctor's aide de camp The Eliminator of Bullshit (a valuable asset to Seussonoras Labs, Inc located in Ypsilanti, Michigan) is, also, a fan of Robyn Hitchcock. He may very well find Mr. Hitchcock to be bullshit (The Eliminator is an expert at locating and exposing bullshit). Nevertheless, THE FUTURIST! was baptized by the sound of this song a few years ago by The Doctor and it proved to be catchy and melodic. IT makes no sense, however. What do these lyrics mean?

"Adventure Rocketship, the lover and the slave
The Skeletons of Spacemen unzipper me with Love
I'm coming for you Sunday
As Faithful as a Mummy
Discovered in a crater ....

I wish I were the Future
I'd kiss you in the Past ... "


THE FUTURIST! may agree with The Eliminator that it reads like Bullshit, but the song is entertaining and quite tempting to re-listen to after hearing one time. It's practically psychedelic at times.


performed by Robyn Hitchcock

Friday, June 4, 2010


... What are The Fashions of The Future?

"Ooooooh, swish!"

THE FUTURIST! Makes Shakshuka

Actual photograph of completed dish
on THE FUTURIST!'s kitchen table

What you see above is the result of this recipe:

2 Tablespoons olive oil

3 cloves of garlic, crushed

1 (14 ounce) can diced fire-roasted tomatoes

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and diced

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

2 teaspoons tomato paste

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 coarsely ground pepper

6 eggs

It is called SHAKSHUKA and it is an Israeli dish that is reminiscent of Huevos Rancheros.

THE FUTURIST! made this today, after finding the recipe in a magazine. It was not the greatest dish that he ever concocted from a culinary formula, but it was good. It took a while for the taste to become ingratriated with the taste buds. At first, it was a bit of an odd visitor to the tongue, but it made itself welcome after a few bites. It can feed 6 people. It is meant as a breakfast dish, but it was made today for a late lunch.

Above is an actual photograph of the completed dish before it was served.
Those are the six eggs you see resting atop the other ingredients.