Saturday Music for "Summer Jammin'" with Dr. Porto

Summer time is a season of memories past and future. THE FUTURIST! finds certain songs evoke those childhood flashbacks of fun, frolics, fantasy and, sometimes, regret. Everyone has those certain Summer Time Songs locked away in their brain memory vaults. The tumblers on those vaults can be easily twirled to and fro to unlock visions when hearing melodies.

Speaking of the mind and the psychological and such, Dr. Porto, THE FUTURIST!'s acquaintance of psychiatry, happens to be a good conversationalist and all around bright personality, even though he is a horrible person. The Doctor isn't entirely 100% evil. He can, occasionally, be kind and generous ... but only for brief moments. He is seeing a counsellor regarding these faults in himself.

But, the point of this Saturday Music post is not Dr. Porto's predisposition for being manipulative and Machiavellian. This post is about Summer Time Memories through Music. Dr. Porto suggested this piece by Yuck. THE FUTURIST! when he first heard Dr. Porto utter the name of the band Yuck, mistakenly thought Dr. Porto was verbally expressing a reaction to his new hounds tooth summer sport coat. After a brief misunderstanding, THE FUTURIST! was made to understand Yuck was the name of a band and Dr. Porto was "Summer Jammin'" to on his outdoor deck while toasting Naan Bread on his grill. Dr. Porto was listening and reminiscing about his Summer Time Romance with Nurse Lutz years ago. It was a memory filled with sunshine, the Jersey seashore, beautiful skies, wine coolers, Xanax, some sort of cat tranquilizer and the terrible way Nurse Lutz stood him up in order to go on a road trip with her voluptuous girlfriends to the Hamptons.

Yuck brought back those memories ... both in music and reaction. Dr. Porto was filled with nostalgia tinged with love and depression.

THE FUTURIST! visited for awhile, ate Indian food and watched Dr. Porto leaf through an Asian Modeling catalogue. It was a beautiful day. Low humidity and perfect for Summer Memories.

Listen:


GEORGIA
performed by YUCK

Saturday Music with a Native American Chant

Dr. Porto, THE FUTURIST!'s acquaintance of the psychiatric profession, can be very mysterious, enigmatic and, oft times, suspected of evil manipulation. Sometimes he can be a marvel of discovery. He can make one see parts of themselves that they never explored before or enlighten areas of the mind that have never had a spotlight centered on in exposure ... however, in Dr. Porto's case it would be a strobe light.

THE FUTURIST! is very fond of the sound of Harpers Bizarre. They provide that dreamy, semi-psychedelic sound of the late 6os/early 70s that he enjoys so very much. He owns a recording of their best songs. He has been in search of one of their songs on YouTube that he wanted to add to his Saturday Music offerings. He could never find it to share with his audience.

Recently, through mere serendipity, THE FUTURIST! was treated to a discovery of a recording he can share. It was provided by the sinister, friendly, egomaniacal, yet self doubting Dr. Porto. It appears that he found it through a Russian source. Dr. Porto has connections all over the world. He has shared living quarters with a Slavic roommate of dubious background and since had to find other dwelling arrangements. HE has Asian connections both through travel and carnal desire. Dr. Porto is a fount of information regarding film, music, food and psychological torture. THE FUTURIST! is so glad he met him ... and at the same time, a bit frightened.

Please enjoy the dreamy sound of Harpers Bizarre as they intone this odd song that THE FUTURIST! could listen to again and again.

It is one of his little pleasures in life.

Listen:



WITCHI TAI TO
performed by Harpers Bizarre

Saturday Music Delayed One Day and Played on a Psychiatrist's Piano

THE FUTURIST! apologizes for the Sunday post of a usual Saturday ritual.
THE FUTURIST! was so busy yesterday due to work and then an excursion into Manhattan and then into the bowels of the hellish Elizabeth NJ. He was unable to ready this Saturday Music post. Well, then ... onto the musical selection for Feb. 26.

THE FUTURIST! visited his friend and therapist Dr. Alexander Porto this week.
You may remember Dr. Porto from this post (click!) and this post (click!)

THE FUTURIST! has been a bit troubled of late and decided a visit to his therapist was in order. Upon entering Dr. Porto's offices, THE FUTURIST! was greeted by the vivacious Nurse Lutz and then escorted into Porto's comfortable darkly paneled personal environs of mind bending.

Dr. Porto was extremely friendly, as usual, but still had his air of menace and superiority. AS stated in previous posts, Dr. Porto is a very interesting, intelligent, yet horrible person. He asked THE FUTURIST! if he wished to lie on his leather couch or sit on his psychiatric love seat. THE FUTURIST! decide to lie down. He has been very fatigued of late ... both physically and mentally. Dr. Porto then said he he would provide a very comfortable pillow for head resting. He said it would be bought in by his college intern.

The Doctor asked if THE FUTURIST! had seen Yi Yi. THE FUTURIST! replied that he had not watched it yet. But he owned a copy. Dr. Porto laughed with a hint of "oh you are so silly" inflection. HE did not mean the Criterion DVD of the film directed by Edward Yang. He meant his new college intern who appeared holding a small cushioned stool.

"This is Yee Yee. She is an exchange student from the University of Nakadai in Tokyo."

Yee Yee had been using the stool to sit on in an adjacent room connected to Dr. Porto's offices. "Sorry to have taken your piano stool, Doctor. I was using it to apply an attractive body adornment to the lower half of my body. So sorry."

"And what would that lower body adornment be, my dear Yee Yee?" Dr. Porto asked.

"Toe nail polish, Doctor," she replied.

"Wonderful. Let me see." The Doctor looked down and extended his right hand. Yee Yee placed her petite foot in his hand. He held her foot and caressed it in a manner that seemed quite odd to THE FUTURIST! ... but then again anything odd attributed to Dr.Porto was normal in his world.

"Ah ... yes .. and what would this polish be called, my dear?" he asked.

"Rising Sun Red, Doctor," she answered.

The Doctor smiled with half of his tight lipped mouth. "Oh, so so brilliant, my dear," he said as he released his grip. "Thank you for replacing my stool .. your use of it is totally understandable."

Dr. Porto then resumed his therapeutic role and asked THE FUTURIST! several questions. He then walked to the stool, sat his finely tailor trousered posterior upon it and said, "Perhaps this song will assist you in your current state of mind."

He sat down and began to play this:

Listen:


ANY MAJOR DUDE WILL TELL YOU
performed by Steely Dan

Tale from The Utter Despair Woods

Could this be Dr. Porto and Nurse Lutz?

THE FUTURIST! started his 1st day of vacation (and 1st day of Summer) with an alarming awakening. A terrible head throbbing has troubled THE FUTURIST! since Saturday evening. It has him quite worried. No headache medication seems to abate the dull throb. He even took a cat nap to quell the waves of pain. Cat naps are usually very restorative. Today, he arose to greet June 21st and found the dull pain was still present. He began to think what could it be? Does he need a new eyeglass prescription? Oh, no ... could it be sympathetic pain from a tooth going to rot? The thoughts of its origins began to make his head spin. He had breakfast (coffee and two small round waffles) and decided to take a solitary walk in nature. Perhaps, the exercise would help, as suggested by a physician he knew.

About 15 minutes into his ambulatory adventure, he encountered an odd and disconcerting sight. THE FUTURIST! saw two people, male and female dressed in Autumnal type wardrobe and wearing masks of an avian nature. THE FUTURIST! snapped proof with his Hipstermatic. (PICTURED ABOVE) They just stood there silent and unmoving. THE FUTURIST! could see their eyes darting about watching his every move as he approached. At first he did not notice the strange Wicker Man/Eyes Wide Shut facial adornment. It just seemed as if two people were out and about just as THE FUTURIST! was this June morning. But, closer inspection brought to sight the strange bird masks ... and waves of other worldly awkwardness and sweaty fear to THE FUTURIST!.

Who were these bizarre people? THE FUTURIST! noticed the female was carrying a small book or pamphlet with these words on the front, which were not obscured by her gloved hand:

PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF HUMAN BODY LANGUAGE

The man had a small pair of binoculars in his left gloved hand. They both just stood there immobile as THE FUTURIST! trudged past them ... their eyes moving slowly in his direction. He nodded in a casual unassuming stranger meeting stranger manner. The woman slowly raised her hand to make a notation in her book as she watched THE FUTURIST!. They did not respond in any way to his nod of notification. THE FUTURIST! walked on and glanced back and saw them both looking around the tree they were planted in front of ... their attention on his passing form. The slight breeze stirred the fluffy feather-like material on their masks. He heard a murmur ... a hushed whisper from one or both of the odd strangers.

THE FUTURIST! walked on and felt his fear subside ... who were they? Were they insane? Was he insane? Was this a hallucination brought on by his throbbing head? Did this mean he had a tumor that caused images to be produced from his addled brain? His pace became quicker and doubled back down another path and returned to his home.

As he poured himself a small gin and tonic, he realized the headache was gone ... he felt fine. He had tried everything to relieve the pain, medication, naps, a hot shower, ice pack and even had to resort to calling his nemesis the infamous psychiatrist Dr. Alexander Porto, a physician known for his vast knowledge, his shady practices of treatment, his love of David Lynch films, his obsession with Japanese women and his reputation for being a horrible human being. Dr. Porto had told THE FUTURIST! that he could do nothing for him and that he had to suffer .. it was all in his mind, but a walk in the woods might help to alleviate the stress. Headaches, he said, were psychological - WAIT! Psychological!?? The book the girl had was a psychological tome of sorts. The girl ... that man ... Could it be? Was that man Dr. Porto and the woman his sexually charged manipulative vixen of a medical assistant Nurse Lutz? Was this some form of trickery to abuse THE FUTURIST!? He would not put it past Dr. Porto to do this ... to frighten him in a time of loneliness and pain.

THE FUTURIST! called Dr. Porto's office immediately and was put on hold. He listened to a recording of Black Moth Super Rainbow as he waited. Finally, Dr. Porto got on the line. THE FUTURIST! started off by reminding Porto of his call the night before. Dr. Porto replied, "I never spoke to you. You are mistaken. What are you talking about?" THE FUTURIST! became agitated and began again and asked if he had seen them in the woods with bird masks. THE FUTURIST! mentioned his headache and how Dr. Porto had said a walk might help the pain. Dr. Porto asked, "Pain? I never spoke to you, but do you have pain in your head?" THE FUTURIST! said it was gone, he felt better, the pain had still been there, but he had been frightened by the sight of these people in strange masks and then he felt the pain ebb away ...

"Ah, fright can do that, you know. It can aid in making pain dissipate. You should welcome the occasional fright ... the bizarre and uncanny. Sometimes, it can be your friend. Now, stop babbling and go about your odd life. I'm assisting Nurse Lutz in inserting sawdust into the body of a dead owl. She found it today in the woods. The little minx is taking a taxidermy class. You interrupted my aiding her in her homework. Goodbye, Fruitcake. Glad to hear the pain is gone. Don't get too excited. Or the headache will come back." And he hung up.

THE FUTURIST! was aggravated and exasperated. He decided to forget the Doctor and return to his Gin and Tonic. Unfortunately, his headache had decided to return to the Gin and Tonic, as well.

Saturday Music suggested by Dr. Porto

THE FUTURIST! recently was in a discussion with Dr. Porto, an acquaintance of mysterious origins ... a man who thinks he knows everything, has an ego that could bridge span (with a bicycle lane) two New York City boroughs and is an expert on everything. Oh, and he is a horrible person. Well, down deep Dr. Porto may have a soft center ... like a tootsie pop lollipop; getting to that soft center is a hardship due to the hard tooth breaking shell.

Dr. Porto claims the tune below is from his favorite band. He said THE FUTURIST! might be interested in hearing it and would love it as well. THE FUTURIST! doesn't want to satisfy Dr. Porto with a yes or a no. Dr. Porto is too smug and THE FUTURIST! hates to see him smile. A smile denotes something very evil on Dr. Porto's part. Well, maybe not always ... especially if he is inhaling the aromatic spices of Chicken Tandoori at a very good Indian restaurant ... then the contentment on his face may be an actual true expression of inner goodness and warmth ... and that could fool THE FUTURIST!. But, then again, even that smile could mean Dr. Porto may be lying. He's a tricky son of a bitch.

Listen:


2080
performed by Yeasayer