originally published in
The New Yorker
by Woody Allen
"Cloquet hated reality, but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak."
"Ah, God, how the mind boggles when it turns to moral or ethical considerations! Better not think too much. Rely more on the body --- the body is more dependable. It shows up for meetings, it looks good in a sports jacket and when it really comes in handy is when you want to get a rubdown."
"A feeling of nausea swept over him as he contemplated the implications of his action. This was an existential nausea, caused by his intense awareness of the contingency of Life, and could not be relieved with an ordinary Alka-Seltzer. What was required was an Existential Alka-Seltzer --- a product sold in many Left Bank drugstores. It was an enormous pill, the size of an automobile hubcap, that, dissolved in water, took away the queasy feeling induced by too much awareness of Life. Cloquet had also found it helpful after eating Mexican food."