Friday, May 1, 2009

The Scary Movie Patron

Fleming Clamdish told THE FUTURIST! about his frightening experience of seeing WATCHMEN a few weeks after it opened and went to a second run theater in Utter Despair. Fleming and his date, Candy Dish (no relation to the Clamdish Clan) entered the auditorium and saw a scary scenario (SEE ABOVE PICTURE) before their eyes. Candy screamed and dropped her mammoth pail of Dr. Pepper and her wheelbarrow of popcorn was sent rolling in a wobbly fashion down the aisle. Fleming had the good sense to snap this photo on his cell phone before carrying Candy's faint body from the theater. He asked the usher who or what was haunting the 5th row of Cinema 2. The usher, an elderly Asian man with 2 teeth, spit this out, "He won't leafff!! He say he will be here always! He crazy!" Then he offered them a refund or a chance to catch the next showing of HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Since Fleming had an unconscious Candy in his arms, he thought he'd better take the refund and revive her in his Toyota Corolla with mouth to mouth resuscitation.

THE FUTURIST! apologizes for forgetting to recount this story of the mad WATCHMEN fan. Forgive him. Isn't it very scary? Let's pray to the Pagan Gods that this doesn't occur with a Tyler Perry fan.


Dara said...

That's terrifying! All my last comments in this blog have been saying the same thing. Stop posting scary things.

Good costume, though. I always thought it would be a good one for Halloween.

Also, the word verification I had to type for this comment was "kessess". Just thought you should know, as it sounded strange.


Sorry to frighten you, Dara. Perhaps, though, you can concoct that costume for next October's scary festivities.

"Kessess" is a strange word. Believe it to be an ancient Inca word meaning "don't manhandle my poison tipped spear."

John Lichman said...

i'll have you know that was me.


Of course, Lichman ... that answers it all. What a fool not to realize you would pull this stunt.