The video below is from Seussonoras Labs in Ypsilanti, Michigan. Experimentation is done very often in the company break room by the staff. On April 14th, Carl Twenner, a lower level stockroom clerk, decided to microwave one of the experimental cell phones being prepared for shipment to a secret client known only as DAMIEN LORD OF THE FLIES. Carl has been known to find pleasure in microwaving objects; a rubber ball, a tube of peppermint toothpaste, a penny loafer and a bottle of Dr. Seussonoras' Raspberry Night of Summer Passion Hand Lotion. He once mixed and matched staff sandwiches in the break room refrigerator and is suspected of urinating in the coffee maker. Dr. Steven Seussonoras (THE FUTURIST!'s personal supplier of inventions) decided that he had enough of this prankster and set up Carl with this particular cell phone. The entire procedure by Carl was filmed by Seussonoras Labs Security Cameras and a transcript of the experiment precedes and follows the video.
TRANSCRIPT OF CELL PHONE MICROWAVING
PARTICIPANTS: Carl Twenner, Louis Driplund, Ronald Swinterplanningford
CARL: This is gonna be cool!
RONALD: Hey, can we do this? Is this gonna be ok?
LOUIS: Seussonoras is getting pissed at you, Carl. We better not get caught.
CARL: Shutup, you dumb ass. Gimme the phone, Lou.
UNKNOWN VOICE: OH MY GOD OH MY F**KIN' GOD!!! JESUS!! OH NO!!
UNKNOWN VOICE: OH OH OH NO ... NO MY ARM ... Aaaaaarghh!! ...
UNKNOWN VOICE: IT'S EATING CARL'S GROIN!!! THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!
UNKNOWN VOICE: STAY AWAY NO NO NO ..............
UNKNOWN FEMALE VOICE: Excuse me, guys, but would you mind cleaning that microwave after using it? I want to heat my Lean Cuisine later. Why are the lights off? What's that odor? (silence) (voice in distance) Beth ... ? Beth, you should smell what they are cooking in there. It smells like rotten meat.
END OF TRANSMISSION.
Dr. Seussonoras told THE FUTURIST! that he will be showing this video at this year's Christmas party.