Thursday, June 11, 2009

Werner Herzog Remakes

Recently, THE FUTURIST! was involved in a whirlwind of craziness on the social networking site TWITTER. John Lichman, online producer of the Current TV Rotten Tomatoes Show, posted the new trailer to the remake of Bad Lieutenant by Werner Herzog. The trailer is incredibly mind boggling in its acting, dialogue and potential storyline. This prompted Lichman to begin an inspired, yet insane, mission to start creating ideas for Werner Herzog remakes and posting them in the required 140 characters or less on TWITTER. If you are able to create enough posts using a certain topic, it can become a Top 10 trending topic, which is then posted on the right of the screen for all "Tweeters" to see. Most trending topics are references to the Jonas Brothers, Jimmy Fallon, American Idol, OMGILOVEGOSSIPGIRL and Swine Flu. Getting wernerherzogremakes to the point of being a trending topic seemed so insane, so funny, so anti-Twitter ... therefore it had to be done. THE FUTURIST! participated and below are some of his contributions. A knowledge of Mr. Herzog (director of Grizzly Man, Fitzcarraldo, Encounters at the End of the World and more), his films and themes and his frequent use of actor Klaus Kinski helps you understand the satire ... otherwise you may be lost. Of course, as most quests for happiness conclude, wernerherzogremakes never became a trending topic and the mission was a failure.

As an added bonus, THE FUTURIST! includes (at bottom) a video of Herzog being shot by a sniper during an interview.


THE GOLD RUSH: Herzog eats shoe in snowbound cabin. Errol Morris interviews him & envisions Herzog as giant chicken.

HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE Nastassja Kinski as Pop Singer Schizophrenic. Has sex with father Klaus Kinski & square dances.

GRIZZLY MANHATTAN: Neurotic NYer beset by shallow friends, ex-wife, criticized for affair with bear. Bear kills everyone.

MONKEYS ON A PLANE: Herzog unleashes 100 squirrel monkeys on jet liner after takeoff. Films resulting melee & narrates.

DER FLEIDERMAUS RETURNS: Depressed super hero battles suicidal insane Penguin. Both walk off into snowy void of doom.

MY DINNER WITH KLAUS: Herzog films dining in restaurant with Kinski. Talk of life, philosophy, God, suicide, murder.

DER SIEBEN SAMURAI: 7 Asian dwarves ride into small western town, throw excrement, curse and spit.

THE MUZAK MAN: Con Man Kinski comes to Midwest American town selling music lessons. He sings, dances & rapes librarian.

THE TAKING OF PELHAM EINS, ZWEI, DREI: Herzog films actual hijacking of NYC subway car just for fun ... no ransom.

MR. FRAU: Kinski tries to handle family stay at home chores while wife Teri Garr works. Their children flee screaming.

THE OSCAR: Herzog strangles Philippe Petit with trapeze wire after losing Oscar for Best Doc. Elke Sommer cameos

KINSKI VS KINSKI: Klaus Kinski sues himself for custody of his sanity. Sanity played by dwarf resembling Justin Henry

GREY GARDENS: Doc. of Herzog & Kinski in house dresses & sun bonnets living in Long Island house. Murder attempts ensue.

LITTLE DIETER NEEDS TO FLY DOWN TO RIO: Soldier imprisoned by Viet Cong attempts to stage musical number on plane wings

JAWSZECK: Insane German actor terrorizes New England beach community by biting vacationers.

STROSHREK: Ogre travels to America with talking donkey, moves into trailer home, works as mechanic & gets disillusioned

MR. KINSKI BUILDS HIS DREAM HOUSE: German business executive tries to erect suburban cape cod in Amazon jungle.

NOSFERATOOTSIE: Vampire dresses in drag for role on German soap opera.

AGUIRRE THE WRATH OF OH, GOD! Spanish conquistador travels down Amazon on raft with George Burns and 65 squirrel monkeys.

THE ENIGMA OF DOOGIE HAUSER, M.D. Adolescent doctor arrives in city hospital, cannot speak, stand erect or bill medicare.

GRIZZLY MAN FOR ALL SEASONS: Sir Thomas Moore loses head after getting too close, then not agreeing with King of Bears.


Dara said...

That clip is from The Culture Show... It's a good show!


Never heard of it.