THE FUTURIST! heard a story about an Utter Despair resident who once tried to perform respiratory rescue on his French Bulldog, who was named Francois.
Due to the fact that Francois' breath smelled like sardines
and a pile of rotting yard compost, the story goes that the
dog owner had to be given CPR after his initial attempt to revive
his pet. It was horrible. Man and his Best Friend unconscious.
This story has been told over and over again to new neighbors
on Murder at the Vicarage Road in Utter Despair, N.J.
THE FUTURIST! isn't sure if it is true, but he did see
(with his own eyes)
a flying cat wearing jodhpurs and a small pith helmet
over on the corner of Odd and End one Friday night.
THE FUTURIST! was returning from The Third Man Cinema Tavern at the time.