Sunday, July 4, 2010

El Grande BOOM Fireworks Controversy

THE FUTURIST!'s favorite 4th of July Fireworks suppliers are Silver Fish Lupez and his partner Juan Estaban "The Blue Gila Monster" Santiango. The boys own El Grande BOOM Fireworks in Passaic County, NJ. When haiku called to ask if there would be any pyrotechnic activity in Utter Despair this holiday, THE FUTURIST! told him he had heard that Silver Fish had had a run-in with a rival fireworks company and things got a bit physical. It seems he was targeted for physical assault one night at their warehouse.

Last week there was an "industrial accident" that resulted in a blaze that engulfed their inventory. Silver Fish and Juan Estaben are only selling Roman Candles this year in The Utter Despair Strip Mall Parking lot. They promise revenge on their rivals who seem to have joined forces with Aztec Mummies and Robots to get a choke hold on all future retail explosive sales in the outlying NJ area. Silver Fish was quoted with the following declaration: "Monsters! Aliens and Criminals! You will all die! No one can defeat me and Blue Gila Monster! NO ONE! You will be crushed! And all Roman Candles and Sparklers are on sale in bulk this week in West Side parking Lot of Utter Despair Strip Mall. Free Frozen Fruit Ice with every $10 purchase. Just knock on back of truck door!"


Dara said...

Happy belated Independence Day!

Also, I got Webby Santo in the Museum ages ago, but I don't think he's watched it yet.


Thank you for the holiday greeting.

TF! would love to watch a Santo film. Maybe one with a Mexican Dracula.