Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Sounds of Fear

AS readers of THE FUTURIST!'s blog know, he is in contact with Seussonoras Labs located in Ypsilanti, Michigan. Dr. Steven Seussonoras, the CEO, brainchild and inventor of the company, recently imparted some interesting news to THE FUTURIST!, which was, at one time, very hush hush TOP SECRET in government circles. The Bush Administration asked Seussonoras Labs to create a special Guantanamo Bay torture device to make supposed interred terrorist suspects confess to crimes and/or impending crimes to our national security. Dr. Seussonoras is a very compassionate and politically liberal individual and refused to co-operate with the government suits. They then threaten to expose certain information regarding his failed auditions to DANCING WITH THE STARS and AMERICAN IDOL which were unknown to the public at large. He decided to co-operate and designed this aural device to create sheer terror and dental clenching trauma. Dr. Seussonoras is a Indie music devotee and despises teen pop and bubblegum music. He directed this video of a valley girl, which he had cloned into a trio of terror at Seussonoras Labs and had the screeching DNA duplicates overlap their singing of Taylor Swift songs. The good news is that its use uncovered a plan for a group of terrorists to shop lift at a Barnes and Noble on October 27, 2007. This crime was averted. The bad news is that the Valley Girl Clones escaped from Seussonoras Labs. Shopping Malls across the United States are on Red Alert!

WARNING! You will not be able to watch more than a minute of this, Dear Readers ... Please prepare yourselves!



In Other NEWS!

Christopher Lee, the great film actor of Hammer Horror Films, does a heavy Metal Album:


5 comments:

Robert said...

I'm not really into metal but this looks so good!

Robert said...

Also, I made it to 1:02 in the clone video to prove that I could. It made me sad.

THE FUTURIST! said...

Robert:

THE FUTURIST! is sorry it made you sad. If you had watched more you would have merged into anger and rage and fear and loathing ... finally back to tears.

christian said...

Sir Chris Lee RAWKS!

Dara said...

I didn't watch the first one, but fair play to Mr. Lee. He's milking life for all it's got! Sort of.