Thursday, June 30, 2011

"Mommy! I Want to Exterminate! NOW!"

THE FUTURIST! really dislikes small children.
Look at how happy they are riding around in those death machines.
He has no doubt if they were real Daleks, those terror tots would
gladly fire death beams and incinerate anyone if they didn't get their way.

And who the Hell thought this was a great toy for undeveloped minds?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Day Off = Time to Do Laundry

THE FUTURIST! is glad he is not currently living in an apartment dwelling.
He would not like to find the aftermath of the above situation when arriving
to clean a full basket of personal garments.

See You Next Wednesday!

JAWS 2 (1978)
dir: Jeannot Szwarc

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

It's Tweesday!!

THE FUTURIST! doffs his summer straw boater to
Mr. Matthew Henderson (who wishes he was British)
and his wonderful encyclopedic near idiot savant
talent of summoning up songs of "twee".
Tweesday has it origin in his influence.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Saturday Music for the Gays Across the Street

In near by New York State, they have passed a law legalizing marriage between persons of the same sex. This has excited the homosexual community to such an extent that they are celebrating in the streets, crying, laughing and dancing dressed as half naked bird/human hybrids in loin cloths, feathered hats and Mardi Gras masks. They are so happy to finally be able to be just as legally unhappy as heterosexual wedded couples. What a historic day.

The mirth is not just to be found across the Hudson River. Here in New Jersey, a neighboring state, and, specifically Utter Despair, New Jersey, the gays are beside themselves, as well. THE FUTURIST! can attest to this fact. He knows of a male couple who live across the street from him who are full of glee (not the TV show ... they are never full of that ... they always want more!). Both the gents, Lerner and Lloyd, are aware of THE FUTURIST! blog and his observations from Utter Despair NJ. Here's a quote from Lloyd, specifically ...


This was yelled across the street as THE FUTURIST! was getting into his car and adjusting his socks.

This week and weekend was a cornucopia of giddiness for Lerner and Lloyd and their friends. Not only was the gay marriage law passed, but tomorrow is Gay Pride Day and they have just put the finishing touches on a float they are taking over to the city for the parade. They always create a movie themed float and go to great lengths to make it as fabulous as possible. This year they are going high camp with a salute to what many consider the worst James Bond film which was released 32 years ago this weekend in 1979 ... yes ... MOONRAKER. There is a lot of silver foil, a space ship, attractive men in space suits and tuxedos and dressed as Bond Girls. IT is quite something to see. THE FUTURIST! only spied it once before they covered it over with a very tasteful ecru velour drapery.

THE FUTURIST! is a great Bond fan and asked if he could see more of the creation, but was denied. Lloyd said that he could see it in its full glory at the parade.

"We would love you to come, THE FUTURIST! Look ... you can even ride in the cockpit of the spaceship. It's perfectly safe ... we'd strap you in tight. You know, you have that supporting actor type of look of a Bond film guy that would help 007 and then get killed in some gruesome manner. And I mean that in a good way, of course."

THE FUTURIST! respectfully declined.

Last night, the boys were doing some last minute fine tuning and THE FUTURIST! could hear the music they were using for the float as it glided down the street displaying its full alternative 007 sexuality in tomorrow's festive flotilla. A piece of campy music which can be heard at the closing credits of the film. Good Pagan God, the 70s was a magnificent era.


MOONRAKER (disco version)
performed by Shirley Bassey
written by John Barry

Friday, June 24, 2011

Bears on Ice

THE FUTURIST! has, as previously stated in prior posts, a fear of bears.
This is not to say he is not adverse to looking at them and their acts of random destruction and violence. Those instances only enhance his white knuckled phobia and provide evidence to relate to others.

They are not cuddly and cute and sing songs while hunting for honey trees or assisting other woodland creatures out of silly predicaments. They don't wear hats and neckties and little short sleeved shirts. Not unless some stupid human drugs the bear or tries to tame it for some circus or sideshow. Then the bear will eventually kill the human that did it ... most likely when children are watching in the grandstand eating cotton candy.

Below, is a video that a friend of THE FUTURIST! sent him recently. Here, again, you can see how man tries to use the bear for his own entertainment. Cruel, yes. Human beings always think they can deal and rationalize with the bear. You can't. AS you will see, the bears attempt, through training, which probably included tasty treats and electric prodding, to play ice hockey. Eventually, as expected with these flea bitten slobbering brutes ... crass entertainment turns to aggression and violence.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Dear World ..."

"Dear World. I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck."
- Actor George Sanders' suicide note before taking an overdose of Nembutal at age 66.

Best roles as Addison DeWitt in ALL ABOUT EVE
Cousin "Jack" in REBECCA
The voice of Shere Khan in THE JUNGLE BOOK

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Utter Despair Fashions

THE FUTURIST! is considering going into a men's clothing line with an unnamed financial source. Several photographs have been snapped and one is below for your perusal. A fashionable line of tasteful casual wear that implies comfort with great sartorial sex appeal for traveling or just lying about vacation spots (or your own home) contemplating the expanding universe, lost loves, the meaningless of Life or just general stereotypical despair and a yearning to have all just ... stop.

Above, pictured, is model Andres Velencoso wearing a neutral colored Summer ensemble. He is attending a July outdoor party waiting for his Appletini and thinking about how long he must endure this torture called Life. Yes, you can be very good looking and still be beset by thoughts of despair ... but if you are ... why not look good while doing it?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Saturday Music for a Psychotic's Father's Day

A very quick, brief Saturday Music post due to Father's Day festivities in Utter Despair, NJ. Here's a little ditty from a very disturbing film that can be thought of in different terms ... a beautiful song about one's love to their father, the distinctive warbling of the psychotic Baby Jane Hudson portrayed by Bette Davis or an evergreen song sung by drag queen impersonators across America.



Saturday, June 11, 2011

Saturday Music from The Chocolate Factory

Gene Wilder celebrates his 78th birthday today and THE FUTURIST! salutes with a song from one of his most remembered films for many people of a certain age. WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY seems ripe for a Broadway stage incarnation. What are the money people waiting for? It has ready made songs (someone could write a few more, of course) and would appeal to the family crowd that keeps those Disney-fied Times Square hopping. Tim Burton did his recreation that featured music by Danny Elfman that had one or two bits of tuneful fun, but the original had the classic song that encapsulates the whole feel of the film. Not the book, but THE FILM. And Gene Wilder warbled it in his imperfect way, but with great charm and heart.

THE FUTURIST! is not going to post Mr. Wilder's version. Instead, he shall share the version below that he heard on a college radio show where he aided in providing "character comedy" bits in between musical selections. That was a happy time for THE FUTURIST!

Please ... listen:

performed by Smoking Popes

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Well, you might have noticed there was no Saturday Music Post
and no usual SEE YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY! trailer featured
this week on THE FUTURIST!'s Observations from Utter Despair, NJ.
The reason for the absence of activity on this site is that
THE FUTURIST! started a vacation respite last Saturday night
and it shall continue until Sunday June 12, 2011.
This does not mean he may not post something during this wonderful
week away from his own created reality.
But ... he may ... if he is inspired.
In the interim, THE FUTURIST! wishes you all well
and he wants you to know that, so far, his week
of spiritual renewal has involved interesting food, liquor,
the wilds of New York State, snobs, white trash,
Woody Allen and Bob Hope movies, grilling, reading Dashiell Hammett,
ice cream, a swimming pool (though THE FUTURIST! can't swim),
a video of bears playing ice hockey and intense suffocating hot weather.

As pictured above,
THE FUTURIST! is prepared for further hot temperatures
and whatever else may await him in this mysterious cruel world.
Stay well.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Happy Birthday to The Amazing Frollo

Today is the celebration of the day
of the emergence of The Amazing Frollo from his Mother's womb.
It was one of the most successful escape tricks of his career.

THE FUTURIST! presents this video of The Amazing Frollo who has
tried to escape his career as a failed magician and decided
to pursue a career in acting or comedy or maybe, in actuality,
a real professor of academia. THE FUTURIST! is not sure.

Regardless, THE FUTURIST! likes this video very much and plays it
now and again and always laughs when The Amazing Frollo breaks
that clay cat figure. The moment of awkward uncomfort is very
Peter Sellers-like and the acting of the participants is quite good.
(in THE FUTURIST!'s opinion, of course.)

You will, also, see The Amazing Frollo attempt to disappear behind
a sculptured hedge. He is incorporating his magic with his acting career.

Please observe The Amazing Frollo's neck beard.
It is one thing he is a Master of accomplishing.

Happy Birthday, Amazing Frollo.
He will be getting drunker than a Caribbean Pirate tonight.
The vomiting will be in state of the art 3D.