Monday, April 13, 2009

Stomach Distress

THE FUTURIST!'s dream recorded by
the Seussonoras Cerebral Slumber Scope

Last night, retiring to bed after a delicious lamb dinner and several hard boiled eggs, THE FUTURIST! had a memory flash in his fevered noggin. A recollection of a childhood incident so traumatic and terrifying that he thought this must have been buried away in his subconscious. Most nights he uses the (patent pending) Seussonoras Cerebral Slumber Scope to record his nocturnal adventures via his dormant yet strangely rambling brain. He could not recall such an incident ever occurring. A young boy being impaled on a wrought iron fence by another young lad? THE FUTURIST! immediately called Dr. Davey, the youngest therapist in N.J. and his own personal psychological physician. Dr. Davey immediately asked to see this alarming video of the dream. After viewing the recording several times, Dr. Davey smile and said:

"Man, that's cool. " as he bopped his head to music playing on his iPod. He than text messaged several friends about meeting them at the Multi-plex theater at the Utter Despair Shopping mall to see Observe and Report.

THE FUTURIST! asked Dr. Davey if he had any explanation as to why he would dream something like this that he couldn't recall in his tortured past.

Dr. Davey smiled and asked THE FUTURIST! to recount his Easter Sunday.

"Well, arose from bed, ate breakfast, went for a pleasant walk, began to cry uncontrollably, pondered relationship problems, questioned God, had a small lunch, wrote an email, sobbed some more, napped, prepared Easter dinner, stared out window for 10 minutes while oven preheated and wondered why Life was worth living, cut vegetables with very sharp knife, bathed leg of lamb butt half in olive oil, sea salt, rosemary and garlic, then put in oven with vegetables around meat. Put timer on for 90 minutes. Basted every 20 minutes. Ate entire dinner with several hard boiled eggs and had glass of red wine. Felt fully sated and a bit bloated ... had ginger ale to settle stomach. Rest of night was uneventful and went to bed."

Dr. Davey stopped playing his video game on his iPhone, looked up and said, "Simple. The dream was a symbolic visualization of your stomach indigestion. Merely observe the lips of the boy sliding down the stone railing. He represents your conscience. He is saying, 'You ate a lot, you hog!' Then, as a punishment for your gluttony, you are pushed upon the spear-like fence to feel the cold steel penetrating your abdomen, hence your gastric malady. Plus, that boy is definitely a representation of you ... observe the sweater vest. Why are you a boy in this dream? Perhaps, a memory of being scolded for eating too much as a child by a parent or, in this case, since it is another young boy doing the pushing, it could be the your young inner Id that propelled you into acts that resulted in pain or even pleasure in your sad youth. By the way, your Id doesn't have much fashion sense. WE may have to work on that ... I know a fashion psychic apparatus therapist."

Dr. Davey then asked if he could download the dream onto YouTube. "It's really cool, " he exclaimed again.

THE FUTURIST! declined the request and went home.

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