Monday, April 20, 2009

Questions and Answers from 1899


What is creation?

A: A failure

What is life?

A: A bore

What is man?

A: A fraud

What is woman?

A: A fraud and a bore

What is beauty?

A: A deception

What is love?

A: A disease

What is marriage?

A: A mistake

What is a wife?

A: A trial

What is a child?

A: A nuisance

What is the devil?

A: A fable

What is good?

A: Hypocrisy

What is evil?

A: Detection

What is wisdom?

A: Selfishness

What is happiness?

A: A delusion

What is friendship?

A: Humbug

What is generosity?

A: Imbecility

What is money?

A: Everything

And what is everything?

A: Nothing

Were we, perhaps, not happier when we were monkeys?

- attributed to London Truth
by Edward Ward in The Scrap Book, 1899


kazu said...

christ almighty that's depressing.


Edward Ward must have been a bundle of fun at a party back in 1899. Imagine the host offering him a drink:

"Eddie, would you like a Scotch?"

"Oh, no ... what is Scotch? It's a bronze colored distilled poison that will disease my liver."