THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... is there a YouTube video that features
death scenes from 36 of Alfred Hitchcock's movies,
that is synchronised to climax in unison?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... Julie Andrews, could you explain what the
Motion Picture Association of America seal means?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

Was Elizabeth Taylor EVER on WHAT'S MY LINE?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... should THE FUTURIST! allow Henry to resume his Internship with THE FUTURIST! this Spring and Summer? (prior post on Henry is here to CLICK on) THE FUTURIST! only asks because he recently met up with the young fellow at a local eatery, had a couple of drinks, ate a superb Cuban sandwich and then found himself at The Utter Despair Shooting Range. Henry seemed very anxious (and adept) at firing a high powered automatic machine gun of some sort with a scope. This seemed to disturb THE FUTURIST! a slight bit. Is he being too sensitive to Henry's love of target practice? Please feel free to comment below.

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

DID MIKE NICHOLS and ELAINE MAY
EVER APPEAR ON WHAT'S MY LINE?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

What could this very scary dream*,

that he had last night, possibly mean?



*dream visual provided by the
Seussonoras Cerebral Slumber Sensor
(patent pending)
Special SHOCKtober Model

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... is there a Bob Hope line that could become

THE FUTURIST!'s new motto or catch phrase?

"Hoping I'll die is the one thing that keeps me alive!"

- Bob Hope

from the rather unfunny

Warner Bros. Vitaphone Short

WATCH THE BIRDIE (1935)

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... Where can he acquire this wonderful, beautiful,

yet tacky, Pink Elephants with Martini Glasses Bow Tie?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... Why was the Nanook of the North Ice Cream truck

not seen in the Utter Despair neighborhoods this past weekend?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... Charlton Heston, could you please explain
the motion picture rating system and exactly
what each movie rating actually means?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

Did WHAT'S MY LINE? ever have
Alfred Hitchcock on as a Mystery Guest?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... how do you set up a proper Tea Party?
THE FUTURIST! would like to invite a few friends over
for a Summer afternoon social.
Please tell him how to arrange the most adequate
setting for comfort and friendliness.
Also, can liquor be substituted for the tea?
No need to grimace. It was just a question.

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... What are The Fashions of The Future?



"Ooooooh, swish!"

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

... you to observe just another April afternoon in Utter Despair, N.J.



That is not a Wilhelm Scream you hear in the video.

That is a Mrs. Patricia Barringer of 22-35 Argento Road Scream.

(address printed without permission due to address no longer existing)

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

How Many Times Can you say:

"Get Out!"

"Don't Touch Me!"

"I Don't Wanna Know!"

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

If a film is EVER made about THE FUTURIST!, can this please be the film's intro logo?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

They DO? REALLY?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

What if Hitler's hopes were dashed regarding James Cameron's upcoming

AVATAR film and he were able to express his disappointment to his closest aides?

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

What is Ypsilanti?

1. a skin disorder
2. an alien mastermind who battles Green Lantern
3. a new type of margarine
4. the Icelandic word for Sex closet
5. a Norwegian puppy's bark

No ... it's where Seussonoras Labs is located. Seussonoras Labs supplies THE FUTURIST! with many new inventions for testing and critical analysis.

THE FUTURIST! Asks ...

Pumpkinhead Doyle, Attractive Indian Girl
and Gawky Flash-in-the-Pan Patel accepting one of the
145 awards for Slumdog Millionaire

haiku really doesn't like Slumdog Millionaire at all. He told THE FUTURIST! that he truly dislikes it and wishes it was not the odds on favorite to win Best Picture at the 2008 Academy Awards ceremony. THE FUTURIST! hasn't seen it and doesn't really want to; he has no desire at all. It looks predictable and flashy and hokey and Blah! THE FUTURIST!, also, dislikes the fact that it is so destined to win. He likes surprises and horse races at award shows. Probably, though, the thing he fears the most about the Oscar Show is not this "feel good" flick winning everything hands down ... no ... what he fears is the moment Jerry Lewis takes the stage after he receives the JEAN HERSHOLT HUMANITARIAN AWARD. Yikes!!

Anywho ...

haiku told THE FUTURIST! that Slumdog Millionaire will win Best Score and Best Original Song, too. He said the song JAI-HO will win over the other Slumdog song and the song from WALL-E, which is the film haiku has petitioned The Library of Congress for national safekeeping in their preservation vaults. He has even called his Congressman regarding this request.

THE FUTURIST! has not heard this song called JAI-HO, but today THE FUTURIST! asks this:

What is JAI-HO? Is it like playing Jai-alai, but with a prostitute?

And, if so, is touching off bounds? And according to Wikipedia, a team scores a point if an opposing player:

* fails to catch the ball(s) on the "fly" or after one bounce

* holds or juggles the ball(s)

* hurls the ball(s) out of bounds

* interferes with a player attempting to hurl or catch the ball(s)

JAI-HO rules are making THE FUTURIST! cross his legs and wince!