The Annual Oscar Prediction 2010 Edition Guest Ghosted by The Ghost of James Whale

Today is the big day in Hollywood. Today The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences bestow their annual awards to those they feel deserved the honor in prior years, but were ignored due to the hype heaped upon another .. or maybe just feel like giving an award to someone for career achievements whether they truly deserve it in the category they are nominated in or not. Many pundits and bloggers and tweeters are feverishly transcribing their picks in what and who will win and what and who they feel SHOULD win. THE FUTURIST!, as he did last year, is going to be assisted in Oscar outcome predicting by supernatural means ... and who better than someone who was a Hollywood insider ... The Ghost of film Director James Whale.

This year the fine man and women of Seussonoras Labs (located in Ypsilanti, Michigan) used a Spectral Transmitting Cabinet and illegal use of a Verizon Cell Phone Tower to transmit The Ghost of James Whale from the Spirit World and into the abandoned Lyric movie theater in Utter Despair, NJ.


Please read on and take heed of The Ghost of James Whale's predictions. Last year he predicted 50% of the winners. He claims he could have done better but was too transfixed on the male attraction of THE HURT LOCKER.

THE GHOST OF JAMES WHALE's
2010 OSCAR PREDICTIONS

BEST PICTURE - THE KING'S SPEECH

"Undoubtedly this year it will be all things England, my dear boy. Hollywood will return to the glory days of boring emotionally stirring paper thin plotting of films of the past ... yes ... a movie all about people better than us who are just as infallible as us and who can be made even better by the little people, as long as those little people remember their place. We love royalty, don't we? So, let's put an end to This Queen's Speech and predict it shall be time again to give the gold to jolly old England."

BEST DIRECTOR - TOM HOOPER

"Oh, this Tom Hooper person reminds me of Private Daniel St. Saltpeter. He was this thin tall sprightly eyed chap who was in the trenches with me during WW I. I think he will get it. Well he did get it. Shot in the stomach while standing up to do his calisthenics one morning. This Hooper got the DGA Award, didn't he? That's a good indicator that he will win the Oscar, my dear THE FUTURIST! ... yes ... in deed. Pvt. St. Saltpeter received a DGA, as well. The Direct Groping Advance by yours truly. Oh, that is so silly of me ... so silly ... sigh ..."

BEST ACTOR - COLIN FIRTH

"Mr. Firth should have won it last year when that Bridges fellow won the Oscar playing that filthy drunken lout of a country singer. Oh, he was dirty looking. Firth was so wonderful in A SINGLE MAN ... so sad, so perfect, so well lit. And that house he lived in? It should have won Best Supported Dwelling."

BEST ACTRESS - NATALIE PORTMAN

"I'm getting bored. This is so predictable. This little pixie will get it. Oh, she's young, she's pretty, she got pregnant by a man who coached her in ballet technique ... AND she married him. It's astounding. What? Why astounding? Well, astounding that this ballet instructor wasn't gay, my dear boy. That's a pure Hollywood fairy tale. Well, actually a non-Fairy Tale, to be honest. Oh, and there is a Lezzer scene. Hollywood loves to watch 2 girls go at it in a big glitzzy movie. It's so legit for them. Usually they have to pay for it to be done for them privately."

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR and ACTRESS -

CHRISTIAN BALE
HAILEE STEINFELD

"This Bale character is so overbearing. But he does what THEY love SO much ... changes his physique, acts like a shock shelled mental case and does an accent. Again ... so predictable. And that little girl from TRUE GRIT is just such a success story for them ... she comes from no where to be so good. They want us to believe it can happen to any of us. Her clothes were so drab in that movie. I hope she adds a little color tonight. And please ... no PIGTAILS. I will do it and say it ... SHUDDER!"

BEST ANIMATED FILM - TOY STORY 3

"I have nothing to say about this ... except this is a silly category. Cartoons were supposed to be before the main attraction. I hated Walt Disney. He was a racist, anti-semite homophobe. But, he knew how to draw an attractive Prince. I would have loved to rotoscope the actor who played that Snow White Prince. I'd make sure my pencil was especially sharp that day. Oh, don't look at me that way, THE FUTURIST!"

BEST ART DIRECTION - THE KING'S SPEECH

"Oh, I loved how the director moved the camera so the actor was to the side of the screen and we could stare at the other side of the screen where we could see how decorated the props and such were. Very nice. Kudos. I'm bored."

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY - TRUE GRIT

"If you can make dirt and dust and gray and hundreds of shades of brown look enticing, well, then you should get the award. That's all."

BEST COSTUME DESIGN - THE KING'S SPEECH

"The suits looked so good. In fact, they reminded me of my own closet. Yes. Beautiful tailored suits. And that one dress that Bonham-Carter wore? That was in my closet, too. I'm silly. Tickle me.HA! I'm a GHOST, you fool, you can't. But ... I do so want a tickle."

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE - INSIDE JOB

"I'm only picking this because I don't like the titles of the other nominees. GASLAND sounds disgusting, RESTREPO sounds like an Italian dinner and I don't like pasta very much, WASTE LAND? Who likes a Waste Land? And that Banksy movie EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP? I never exit through the gift shop. I enter through the front and exit through the front. Though, I do like entering from the back. GOT YOU, THE FUTURIST! I GOT YOU AGAIN! HA HAHA!"

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT - POSTER GIRL

"This is a pure guess. They may think it's about a Playboy Centerfold. Hollywood loves sex."

BEST FILM EDITING - THE SOCIAL NETWORK

"This movie had a lot of attractive young men. My rule is that the best movie in this category is the one where, no matter where or when you cut, you will always see an attractive young man. Thumbs up Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter."

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM - INCENDIES

"Canada is full of British people. Tonight is the night of The British. There are some Frogs there, too, but it is The Queen's Country in most respects. And this queen visited there often. Lots of good hunting up there, if you get my drift. And I tapped a few maple trees up there, too."

BEST MAKEUP - THE WOLFMAN

"I really preferred Jack Pierce's makeup of THE WOLFMAN back in the day. This is too scary."

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE - THE KING'S SPEECH

"I heard through the spirit grapevine that there was a lot of drugs being sold on the - What? Music? Oh, of course. Well it won;t be 127 HOURS, then. Give it to Alexandre Desplat. I like his last name ... DESPLAT! That's the sound I made when I made my final dip in my pool. A little black humor to soften the sex jokes, my dear boy."

BEST ORIGINAL SONG -
WE BELONG TOGETHER from TOY STORY 3

"They gave this award a long time ago to Randy Newman. He didn't deserve it then and he doesn't deserve it now. But he'll get it. I dread hearing his croaking voice tonight. Oh dear."

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM - THE GRUFFALO
BEST ANIMATED LIVE ACTION SHORT - NA WEWE

"I never watch these things. All I know is one is called Gruffalo which will make the voters think of Mark Ruffalo who is nominated in the Best Supporting Actor category. And the other one will make them think of getting to the restroom during commercial breaks."

BEST SOUND EDITING - INCEPTION
BEST SOUND MIXING - INCEPTION
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS - INCEPTION

"Oh, I just wish that Leonardo or Tom Hardy would incept me. That's all."

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY - THE SOCIAL NETWORK

"Again ... lots of attractive young men talking a lot. Lots of words coming from the mouths of attractive young men with the camera just on them and shooting. That's a winner."

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - THE KING'S SPEECH

"It's called THE KING'S SPEECH. It's about talking and speech impediments. It's a no brainer. Plus the British speak so well. Even with a stutter."

THE FUTURIST! thanks The Ghost of James Whale for his input in this annual ritual and will now conclude this interview. Please watch The Oscars tonight to see how his predictions work out. Any last words, Ghost of James Whale?

"Not actually. I must get back to the spirit world. I was attending a very enjoyable fete at The Ghost of George Cukor's home. It was a pool side party. It was fun, however they kept asking me to do the dead man's float in the damn pool. Tiresome. It was instigated by The Ghost of Ramon Navarro. He played Ben-Hur, you know. More like Ben-HER, to be more accurate. Ta, THE FUTURIST! Until next time!"

Ghost World

The talented scientists at Seussonoras Labs in

Ypsilanti, Michigan are currently at work

attempting to contact the Spirit World.

Why?

Because it is time for The Academy Awards

and that means THE FUTURIST! wishes to reconnect with

The Ghost of James Whale, deceased famous film director

of Hollywood past who gave us FRANKENSTEIN,

BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, THE INVISIBLE and more.

Last year the spectral portals were opened by a seer

and medium in Utter Despair by the name of Walter Bascom.

However, Walter is now, himself, among the spirits.

He committed suicide by drinking the contents of his

salt water aquarium.

Don't ask why, please.

This time, THE FUTURIST! asked Dr. Steven Seussonoras

to assist him in making contact with The Ghost of Mr. Whale

using the advanced means of his science laboratory.

His crack staff is using the most science fictitious

apparatus to penetrate the world BEYOND!

Just a few minutes ago, Dr, Seussonoras' aide-de-camp,

The Eliminator of Bull Shit, called Utter Despair to

give news of the progress.

It seems that The Ghost of James Whale has been reached ...

but he is enjoying a pre-Oscar 2 day pool side

party at the home of The Ghost of George Cukor.

Let's keep our fingers crossed that he will

agree to be spirit expressed to Utter Despair

to assist in Oscar predictions to

be posted on Sunday afternoon.

THE FUTURIST! salutes The Dude

Dear Dude,

You have always abided in the heart of

THE FUTURIST! You have never let him down in whatever

role you tackled in your career. You have been in some films

that did not deliver the goods (ex: KING KONG),

but YOU always did deliver.

It is cliche to echo the phrase that you are

"one of the most underrated actors in film",

but it is true. You are always effortless in your

performances and have a flair for appearing "unactor-ly"

Perhaps CRAZY HEART is not one of your best performances

and maybe it could be said you received your Oscar due to

sentiment, but it is overdue and even if you never

were acknowledged, THE FUTURIST! would always

cite you as one of his most favorite of actors.

A list of lesser known

Jeff Bridges films

that should be watched

JUST for Jeff Bridges:

BAD COMPANY (19772)

FAT CITY (1972)

RANCHO DELUXE (1975)

HEARTS OF THE WEST (1975)

STAY HUNGRY (1976)

SOMEBODY KILLED HER HUSBAND (1978)

WINTER KILLS (1979)

CUTTER'S WAY (1981)

THE MORNING AFTER (1986)

NADINE (1987)

TUCKER: THE MAN AND HIS DREAM (1988)

THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS (1989)

WILD BILL (1995)

THE DOOR IN THE FLOOR (2004)

_________________________________

Cameron Congratulates Bigelow

Via The Huffington Post

2009 Oscar Predictions with Guest Ghost James Whale

THE FUTURIST! is about to predict what he thinks will win in each of the 24 categories at tonight's 82nd Annual Academy Awards presentation. Many make their predictions based on the prior award winnings by some of the nominees, current buzz by critics, favoritism of the moment by the Hollywood elite or who played the best alcoholic, blind, homosexual, mentally challenged and made-to-look-uglier-than-they-really-are-in-real-life role. THE FUTURIST! does not use any of these techniques. Some believe THE FUTURIST! can foretell The Future ... and what he knows about The Future is that it is not bright and ends ugly for us all. AS to Oscar awards ... that was to be predicted with the aid of the supernatural.

THE FUTURIST! recently received a phone call from his neighbor Walter Bascom, a spiritual medium who lives two doors down from THE FUTURIST! in Utter Despair, N.J. Walter claimed that the ghost of Hollywood director James Whale had contacted him and said his spirit had been hovering about Utter Despair caught in a state of limbo. The Ghost of James Whale had been restless ever since his other-worldly dismay at Sir Ian McKellen losing the Best Actor Oscar to Roberto Benigni in 1998. Sir Ian portrayed James Whale in the film GODS AND MONSTERS. His spirit has been wandering depressed through the ether since that disappointing Oscar night.

The Ghost of James Whale: "Did you see that bloody ass climbing over the audience like a Borneo ape to take that award that was rightfully mine ... I mean, Sir Ian's, of course. Bloody disgrace it was."

The Ghost of James Whale

Dead Director of FRANKENSTEIN,

THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN and THE INVISIBLE MAN

The knowledge of an actual Hollywood director's ghostly presence in Utter Despair was shocking and THE FUTURIST! immediately made arrangements with Walter to ask The Ghost of James Whale to help him predict this year's Oscar winners.

THE FUTURIST!'s 2009 OSCAR PREDICTIONS

AIDED BY THE GHOST OF JAMES WHALE

Best Picture - THE HURT LOCKER

The Ghost of James Whale: "Oh, I agree, dear boy. Sweaty men defusing explosives is always a winner. Lots of phallic symbolism in that picture. And there was that scene where those brutes were punching each other and then one rode the other like a prize bull at the rodeo ... and they did this on their leisure time. Excellent sequence. It did, however, remind me a bit of my time in the trenches in WWI. But that would have been made less horrific if someone had rode me in such a charming, manly style. I mean, to get our minds off the bombs and such, that is. But, THE HURT LOCKER is a good prediction."

Best Director: KATHRYN BIGELOW

The Ghost of James Whale: "She's manly. Should could punch Elsa Lanchester through a prop wall. If she hadn't been wed to that vulgar Cameron character, I'd think she was a Lezzer"

Best Actor: JEFF BRIDGES

The Ghost of James Whale: "Quite good. He was such an Adonis when he was younger. Now, look at him. A grizzled weathered long haired smelly thing who thinks he's really a country singer. Personally, I like that Jeremy Renner. I've got an average sized explosive in my trousers he could defuse. Ha ha ha ... yes."

Best Actress: CAREY MULLIGAN

The Ghost of James Whale: "My dear, THE FUTURIST!, this dreary Sandy Bullock with a blond wig and that hoity attitude in that Christian film and Meryl Streep doing her usual accent driven drivel in a role that was a cartoon will cancel each other out between their respective base camps. That little English sprite from AN EDUCATION will take it in a surprise moment. Oh, she's a dear ... love to go clothes shopping with her. Now, if Jeremy Renner was a big queen, well ... he'd get my vote for Best Actor and Actress. Next?"

Best Supporting Actor: CHRISTOPHE WALTZ
Best Supporting Actress: MO'NIQUE

The Ghost of James Whale: "That Nazi piker was a bit queeny. I liked him. And that brutish mother in PRECIOUS will take it, too. Meanies prevail in this category."

Best Cinematography: THE HURT LOCKER

The Ghost of James Whale: "Not a lot of color ... lots of dirt. Grimy. Gray. Sweaty men ... I like. Could have used a dash of chartreuse. Those barracks needed color."

Best Costume Design: THE YOUNG VICTORIA

The Ghost of James Whale: "The Brits take this one, dear. It's about a Queen, damn it. Queens always dress well. Look at me, for God's sake! There's spectral proof in front of your eyes!"

Best Animated Feature: UP

The Ghost of James Whale: "I don't watch cartoons. I don't really care. I'm picking it because I'm thinking of Jeremy Renner and it's the first adverb/preposition that comes to mind. Well, part of me does. Oh, dear. boy, I'm batting a thousand in our little cricket match of vulgar euphemisms!"

Best Art Direction: SHERLOCK HOLMES

The Ghost of James Whale: "London looked wonderful. It might have been all painted back drops, stilted sets and such, but what marvel- What? CGI? What the Sod is CGI?"

Best Documentary Feature: THE COVE
Best Documentary Short:

CHINA'S UNNATURAL DISASTER: THE TEARS OF SICHUAN PROVINCE

The Ghost of James Whale: "Fish and the Chinese. Perfect together. I once had a delightful light entree of Chinese Flounder in a Ginger Sauce with vegetables at The Brown Derby in 1935. Charles Laughton was with me and so was Colin Clive."

Best Foreign Language Film: EL SECRETO DE SUS OJOS

The Ghost of James Whale: "Speaking of food, I had a El Secreto de Sus Ojos dish at an after Oscar soiree at Ramon Navarro's estate. I wanted seconds, but that damn Francis X.Bushman got there first."

Best Film Editing: THE HURT LOCKER

The Ghost of James Whale: "Very good cutting. The camera could have stayed on Jeremy Renner a bit more, though. Am I getting redundant?"

Best Makeup: STAR TREK

The Ghost of James Whale: "I'd vote for THE YOUNG VICTORIA, due to my Queen's have the best makeup theory, but this had odd looking beasties and such. It's a lock."

Best Original Score: SHERLOCK HOLMES

The Ghost of James Whale: "Hans Zimmer, isn't it? That reminds me of my first school boy crush. Hans Dustledorff. He was an exchange student. Oh, I wanted to exchange things with him so very much." * sigh *

Best Original Song: THE WEARY KIND from CRAZY HEART

The Ghost of James Whale: "Does anyone care? I like a Cole Porter tune, to be frank."

Best Short Film Animated: A MATTER OF LOAF AND DEATH
Best Short Film Live Action: INSTEAD OF ABRACADABRA

The Ghost of James Whale: "I don't watch these. I like looong things. Short is not an attention getter in my book, dear boy. These are guesses."

Best Sound Editing: AVATAR
Best Sound Mixing: AVATAR
Best Visual Effects: AVATAR

The Ghost of James Whale: "oh, those blue people get all of these. That movie was all bells and whistles. A ghost said to me, 'James, you didn't see AVATAR in 3D?' No, I didn't you ninny. I'm dead. I'm not even 1D myself."

Best Adapted Screenplay: UP IN THE AIR

The Ghost of James Whale: "Would it be appropriate for another Jeremy Renner inspired penis joke? Insert here. INSERT! Oh ... my .. word! I did it again!!"

Best Original Screenplay: INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

The Ghost of James Whale: "Lots of good dialogue and talking in this one. I love talking. Especially if it's bitchy gossip. Did you know Claude Rains wore lifts in his shoes? He did. He was a bloody midget."

Any last words, Ghost of James Whale?

"That Jeremy Renner is certainly a titillation. If only I were alive and it was a robust Summer day at my Hollywood estate circa 1937, I would gladly take the utmost pleasure in languishing lazily at poolside perusing the athletic knife-like diving of dear Jeremy in my Olympic-sized swimming pool. Later, I would paint his movie militarily funded physique in my art studio. I see him as a Pre-Raphaelite Pagan God, naked to the elements holding a - "

Thank you.

Let us see if The Ghost of James Whale is correct tomorrow.
THE FUTURIST! wishes to profusely thank Walter Bascom, Medium Rare and The Ghost of James Whale for this special blog posting in honor of The 82 Annual Academy Awards.

Saturday Music from The Oscars 25 Years Ago

THE FUTURIST! tracked back the Academy Award Best Song nominees from 25 years ago (1984 to be specific) and found a treasure trove of five 80s pop tunes that ALL surfaced on the Pop Charts and played continuously on the radio. THE FUTURIST! asks: When was the last time this occurred in Academy Awards history? These songs, due to their chart rising popularity, produced awful music videos indicative of the era. The Best Song category gets more dismal every year; songs that appear during credit sequences or unmemorable tunes from mediocre animated films and lots of tunes by Randy Newman seem to populate the nominee slot each year. Some years there are just three songs nominated due to the hardship in choosing the "best" by whatever committee makes the decision. It is certainly a dying category that may not survive much longer. Who can remember most of recently nominated songs? THE FUTURIST! found many classic standards that won or were nominated in the 30s and 40s and 50s. The 1960s produced some memorable tunes, as well; The Windmills of Your Mind, Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head, The Shadow of Your Smile, Born Free, Moon River, and The Carpenters' For All We Know. But look at 1984 a year which had five really great examples of 80s pop tunes that ALL excelled financially on the air waves. THE FUTURIST! has a soft spot for the Phil Collins' Against All Odds ... a song that Mr. Collins was denied the chance to perform at the Academy Awards by the producers, because they claimed they were not "familiar with his work". Instead, Ann Reinking (a Broadway performer) was selected to perform a slow tonal crawling rendition that destroyed the force of the song's lyrical angst. Mr. Collins watched from his seat in the audience.

THE FUTURIST! was going to post a video of each song in its entirety, but thought that the visuals and the song length would cause total cerebral inertia. In regard to you, dear reader, THE FUTURIST! has found a wonderful concise example of all five songs nominated for Best Song of 1984 complied together in shortened samplings.

The winner of the coveted Oscar is the first song you will hear.

Listen:



You heard in order of sequence:

I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU
from the film THE WOMAN IN RED (1984)
music and lyrics by Stevie Wonder

AGAINST ALL ODDS (TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW)
from the film AGAINST ALL ODDS (1984)
music and lyrics by Phil Collins

FOOTLOOSE
from the film FOOTLOOSE (1984)
music and lyrics by Kenny Loggins and Dean Pitchford

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY
from the film FOOTLOOSE (1984)
music and lyrics by Tom Snow and Dean Pitchford

GHOSTBUSTERS
from the film Ghostbusters (1984)
music and lyrics by Ray Parker Jr.

Oscars circa 1974

THE FUTURIST!'s favorite film is CHINATOWN, so he has a fondness for the Academy Awards of 1974. It was a Golden Year of nominees ... well, there was THE TOWERING INFERNO, of course ... but nominees that year were AMARCORD, THE CONVERSATION, MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, LENNY, BLAZING SADDLES, A WOMAN UNDER THE INFLUENCE, DAY FOR NIGHT, ALICE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE, THE GODFATHER PART II and HARRY AND TONTO.

Oscar's Best Scores 1978

The Academy awards are this Sunday and THE FUTURIST! is readying himself for a stultifying evening of bad jokes, dull award presentations, insipid interludes of misguided montages and predictable outcomes. He will, of course, be prepared with a fortification of olives securely submerged in Norwegian Vodka. Being in a bored whimsical mood, THE FUTURIST! looked back at some awards of the past regarding Oscar. Some of the nominees make those of today seem so thin and wane. Listen to this example of the 5 nominees for Best Score in 1978. The winner was the disco sounding score to MIDNIGHT EXPRESS, but listen to the others ... Jerry Goldsmith's forceful dizzying Viennese waltz with a menacing tempo, the beauty and melancholy of DAYS OF HEAVEN and the jazzy jaunt of HEAVEN CAN WAIT ... and the iconic orchestral oomph of SUPERMAN.