Saturday Music that's Appropriate for a James Bond Opening Credit Sequence

The Saturday Music selection below is one that THE FUTURIST! can watch over and over again. It's not just the pleasantly mind catching melody, but it is, also, the tune married to the marvelously engineered visuals.

THE FUTURIST! loves how the song is used in a sham cinematic opening credit sequence for a film. It is never stated in the video that this is a James Bond film, but it is oh so certified by the luscious 2:35 screen ratio, the faux Maurice Binder gyrating female silhouettes and slow motion candy colored smoke and orgasmic explosions. It has the iconic Goldfinger styled projections of the singers onto the erotically charged posed figures of curvaceous women (and in this version, even men are glimpsed later on).

THE FUTURIST! just loves James Bond motion pictures. He was brought up on them by his male parent. He can recall sitting in the theater straining his small head (due to his stature) to see the very adult adventures played out on the mammoth screen. They were his introduction to sexuality on screen. They were everything to him ... comic book-like, yet scary in their violence and danger for a young boy, full of taboo talk and acts that he dared not discuss with any adult ... they provided such excitement for all his senses and wonderful loud pulsating brassy music and an epic sense of a world he would never ever encounter in real life. He remembers leaving the local cinema with his Father asking: "Did you like that?" Words could barely tumble from his mouth to express his joy. Perhaps, his love of movies came from James Bond and that is why he will watch them over and over again. They are certainly silly and as an adult THE FUTURIST! can see the degrees of "badness" some of the entries have lowered themselves to ... and they do not instill the same thrilling shot of hormonal harbingers in his body, but they make him remember that excitement and ... that is a good thing to relive in trying times.

This video represents to THE FUTURIST! the best thing about those films after the audience sees the dry opening wherein a calamity would befall Great Britain or the world itself ... or Bond would be confronted with death, dressed impeccably and then escape in a wild outlandish bit of business. Then came the title sequence aurally embracing you with the theme song and surreal images. THE FUTURIST! thinks this homage to those Bond openings is better than many he has seen in recent years. In fact, it's a pity it isn't the real thing.

Listen and watch:


LAND OF A THOUSAND WORDS
performed by Scissor Sisters

A to Z Fonts

This blog post is dedicated to Y.S. Compton, also known as Ethan.
Mr. Compton created THE FUTURIST!'s blog
logo and selected the appropriate font.
He will be the movie credit font critic on the future review
show hosted by THE FUTURIST! which is currently a figment of
his fevered imagination. THE FUTURIST! can dream, can't he?

THE FUTURIST! Provides Silly Blog Filler

This is brilliant.

A salute (in a non-Fascist manner) to THE FUTURIST!'s
wonderfully resourceful and devoted friend Dara Moroney
for the discovery of this creative clever creation.

Getting to Know Your Piriformis

The winter is quite brutal this year in Utter Despair, NJ
There are snow accumulations every week.
Today another 9 inches was awaiting at early morning light.
This is causing a lot of physical exertion for THE FUTURIST!
He was heard to say that his back and neck ache very much.
An acquaintance told him that his posture appears poor, as well.
Could this be due to the constant bending to collect and then
heave mounds of snow? Perhaps.
THE FUTURIST! checked out some YouTube tips for posture correction.
He discovered the one submitted above featuring Dr. Erik Sorbo.
After making sure that he dressed in a dress shirt, dress trousers,
shoes AND a neck tie, THE FUTURIST! performed this exercise in his
home office. He found it strangely erotic and was impelled to perform
more then the suggested 3 to 5 repetitions.
The Piriformis is a very interesting muscle.
You may want to turn down the lights and play some cocktail music.

Double-O Ghidrah

See You Next Wednesday!

ICE STATION ZEBRA (1968)
dir: John Sturges

Outwitting the Common Burglar

Needing advice on a way to secrete valuables in his Utter Despair, NJ dwelling, THE FUTURIST! asked an acquaintance on security procedures on the best way to foil the common burglar. Bud Baxter, retired Utter Despair law enforcer and heavy drinker at The Third Man Cinema Pub, was the man to see. THE FUTURIST! encountered Bud last Wednesday night as he quaffed several Fritz Lang Lagers. Bud was, also, watching old Michael Shayne, Private Eye films (starring Lloyd Nolan) in one of the private booths in the Pub. THE FUTURIST! slid into the booth just as Bud was finishing off his suds and the end of THE MAN WHO WOULDN'T DIE (1942). Bud raised his mug as a signal to the waiter for another refill and as a salute to the end of the film.

"Ah, that Mike Shayne is one tough cookie. The besht private dick in the boo-(urp) -oook," he said as he stared with bleary eyes at THE FUTURIST!. "Wha' do you want, Bow Tie Man?"

THE FUTURIST! told Bud exactly what he needed. A way to hide his valuables from intruders that might unlawfully enter his home. Utter Despair had been having a rash of break-ins in recent weeks.

Bud rubbed his right eye and sputtered, "What ya got to hide? Diamonds? Purl necklashes? Some kind of gems? ... you got gold, Fancy Pants? I bet ya got a tiara or somethin' HA HA HA!"

THE FUTURIST! denied the assertions of hoarding pirate booty and, at the same time, steadied Bud before he fell into the path of Otto the waiter as he was gliding by with a tray of Joan Crawford Shoulder Pork Rinds for Film Projection Booth 12. Bud raised his head and said, "Whatcha' want a safe or somethin'?"

THE FUTURIST! told Bud he needed to hide away his collection of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN comics from the late 1960s, his Pee-Wee Herman talking Doll (with Chairy), his grandfather's pocket watch, his Dick Tracy Big Little Books, insurance papers, birth certificate, his collection of George Segal DVDs and some cash.

"Well, let me tell ya, FUSHTURISHT ... as a retired law offisher and now a reshpected private detective, I gotta tell ya that the besht way to foil or, as we say, bamboozle the catshup burglars is to use ordinary things to hide extra-ordinary things ... you undershtand?"

THE FUTURIST! nodded and asked if he meant a safe behind a painting. He did own a beautiful painting of Jack Nicholson as J.J. Gittes in CHINATOWN done by his former aide de-camp haiku. Bud grimaced and waved his hand wildly about.

"Nah, that's dumb ... that's really dumb. You've seen too many movies. The bad guys always look for safes behind paintings ... you use somethin' more unsushpecting ... like a phony outlet."

THE FUTURIST! did not quite understand. Did Bud mean an electrical outlet?

"Yesh, a goddamn electrical plug thingee in da wall! You know? The thing you plug your vibrator into, Franklin Pangborn."

THE FUTURIST! took umbrage to Bud's comment. He didn't look a thing like Franklin Pangborn. He signaled for Otto the waiter to refill Bud's glass in hope of calming down his obvious aggression and need for alcoholic sedation. THE FUTURIST! told Bud he could not understand how he could fit his cache of priceless items into a fake wall socket.

Bud smiled as he watched the Fritz Lang Lager foam in his glass. "Don't worry, my boy. I got a solution to that very thing. I will be over tomorrow with my assistant and we will inshtall a very unobstrushive common wall outlet that will remedy your little worries with perfect precishion and expert craftman - (urp) - manship. I promise you ... no crook will ever think to look in this thing .. all he'll shee is a common ordinary socket. Count on it." Bud sipped his drink. "Oh ... we only take cash. NO Spider-Man comic books or talking dolls. HA HA HA!!"

The following day, THE FUTURIST! returned from work to find the described "unobtrusive wall outlet" that would readily handle his large collection of valuables.

Saturday Music by Young Jeff Bridges

Last week THE FUTURIST! watched a PBS American Masters special on actor Jeff Bridges. In this program, besides informing the viewer on Bridges' career from an early appearance on his father's TV show SEA HUNT and up to his Academy Award as Best Actor in CRAZY HEART, many stories are told by his family and friends about his many other talents. He is a painter and a photographer. Both these talents have been displayed in galleries. He, also, is a song writer and at one time he seriously wanted to stop acting and become a musician. He wrote a song that a film producer heard and the same producer placed it in a film called JOHN AND MARY (1969).

THE FUTURIST! has been watching some films made by the late Peter Yates. He directed JOHN AND MARY. Last night, in his Thimble Theater, THE FUTURIST! screened JOHN AND MARY. In a scene in a Manhattan bar, Dustin Hoffman and Mia Farrow flirt and talk and get a bit tipsy while the usual tavern white noise buzzes on. In the background of this scene you can hear bits and pieces of Bridges' song LOST IN SPACE that he wrote when he was 20 years old or maybe even 19 years old. He sings the tune, as well.

Tonight, THE FUTURIST! saw Jeff Bridges in TRUE GRIT and marveled at his superlative acting. THE FUTURIST! always loved Bridges in everything he has ever saw perform in ... even films of a weak structure. He is always top notch. The Public Broadcasting special brought back all those memories of the young handsome robust Bridges in FAT CITY, BAD COMPANY, THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT and his later more mature roles in FEARLESS, THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS and THE BIG LEBOWSKI. Bridges doesn't disappoint in an iconic role once made famous by John Wayne, either.

All this Bridges stuff was rattling around in THE FUTURIST!'s brain tonight. He decided to see if he could find the LOST IN SPACE song from JOHN AND MARY on YouTube ... and VIOLA! as usual YouTube never disappoints (well, seeing a Japanese man unpeel a banana with his ass cheeks on a game show was a bit disheartening)

Please listen to the Young Jeff Bridges
and this spacey very 1969-like sound:


LOST IN SPACE
performed and written by Jeff Bridges

A Moment to Sniff the Flowers

THE FUTURIST! has been really stressed of late.
The tension is sapping his creativity.
The worst thing is that this anxiety is not letting
him sit down and enjoy a movie.
He can usually lose himself in the dark.
Not of late, alas.

So, maybe THE FUTURIST!'s old Sunday Service friends
Willie and Billy Pollard can bring him a little solace with this video.

THE FUTURIST! wishes he could be so
comatosely serene as these sweet people.

See You Next Wednesday!

HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM (1959)
dir: Arthur Crabtree

Saturday Music wherein One Thing Can Lead to Another

This past SHOCKtober, THE FUTURIST! watched a plethora of horror, thriller and mystery movies; it happens to be his usual Autumnal creepy custom. One of the films he watched was HOUSE OF THE DEVIL directed by Ti West. It was a rather low budget movie with no one of impressive star wattage ... maybe just ET Mom Dee Wallace Stone, creepy Tom Noonan and cult favorite Mary Woronov. Oh, there was also the currently rising indie film actress Greta Gerwig in a small, but memorable turn. HOUSE OF THE DEVIL moved at a snail's pace until it's final half hour. This is not a bad thing. No, not at all. It created a fantastic mood of tension and tingles. The protagonist is a young college girl named Samantha who needs to be more liberated from the confines of her shared dorm room. She needs to find an apartment which means needing money. This leads to her inquiring about a "baby sitting" job at a strange Victorian house way way way out in the woods. It's far from her usual haunts and far away from making the viewer comfortable. Mr.West directs this film in the style of a late 70s/early 80s horror picture. This style includes camera moves, music and credit sequences reminiscent of that cinematic time. Samantha has one of those feathered Charlie Angels hair-dos and we see early 80s automobiles. The opening credit shots freeze frame as big yellow font spell out the cast and crew and remind us of the cinema of our not so distant past ... well, it is 2011, so it was some time ago now.

THE FUTURIST! felt he had seen this type of film before and was trying to guess what was going to happen. Again .. this is not a bad thing, because HOUSE OF THE DEVIL never bored him or made him think to himself, "Yeah yeah ... of course that was going to happen." The film always seemed fresh and surprising. However, the movie's final ending destination disappointed him and left him not so happy, but the ride was worth the sights along the way.

One moment that pleased THE FUTURIST! was the scene below. You will watch as Samantha tries to fill the boredom of her baby sitting job with a little music from her Walkman. (Remember those things?) She bops about the house investigating rooms and opening doors to basement stairs trying to feel relaxed and not dull or ill at ease. This scene provided THE FUTURIST! with that great moment of odd comfort and familiarity that fools you into feeling ... safe? No. Not safe. Not safe at all. Shortly after this, the pixie-like sweet Samantha will feel no comfort at all. One thing CAN lead to another ... a very bad thing.

In the mean time, try to feel relaxed and ...

Listen:


ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER
performed by The Fixx
diegetically used in a scene from HOUSE OF THE DEVIL (2009)

Be Here Next Week ....

(click on image for more thrilling detail)

Pictured above is the collection of chapter serials

that THE FUTURIST! currently owns.

What are Chapter Serials?

They were regular Saturday afternoon

(or weekend)

movie theater features that provided thrills, chills

and outlandish cliffhanging perils for juvenile afternoon

matinee audiences in the late 1930s, 40s and early 1950s.

Most were based on comic strip or comic book heroes and were

produced by Republic, Universal and Columbia Pictures Studios.

Unfortunately, most are quite racist ...

but, one must consider the era in history in which they were created.

They run about 16-20 mins for each chapter

(the 1st chapter is about 30 mins.)

and end with a death defying, breath taking cliff hanger

wherein the hero/heroine is about to meet their demise.

Movie-goers were then asked to return the following weekend

to see how the hero escaped death and continued to pursue the villains.

THE FUTURIST! loves these historical artifacts of

old movie going days gone by.

They feature incredible bad acting, awful special effects,

repetitive badly staged fight scenes and bad dialogue.

They are utterly fantastic!

Each Saturday, THE FUTURIST! tries to watch one chapter

of a serial before another feature in his own personal

Thimble Theater.

Thimble Theater is a small room in his home secreted below

ground level where movies are projected on an 80 inch diagonal

screen from an Epson DVD movie projector.

Sound is provided by a 5.1 surround system produced by Sony.

TERRY AND THE PIRATES is the current serial

being watched in Thimble Theater.

It is about to end in one week.

Next up:

KING OF THE ROYAL MOUNTED

THE FUTURIST! can't wait!

Breathing Lesson

Some Youtuber in the great beyond took the time to compile every single
breath pause that Sarah Palin took during her recent AMERICA'S ENDURING STRENGTH
video from this week. It was her response to the horrendous shootings in Arizona
on Saturday January 8th. THE FUTURIST! feels this piece of avant garde visual art
perfectly encapsulates what Palin really had to say in the 7 min 43 sec video
she recorded, as well as showing her disingenuous nature without the words.
It should be in the Museum of Modern Art in Manhattan.

See You Next Wednesday!

A Double Feature in memory
of director Peter Yates
Jul. 24, 1929 - Jan. 9, 2011


BREAKING AWAY (1979)
dir: Peter Yates


EYEWITNESS (1981)
dir: Peter Yates

Saturday Music of Movie Going Memory

While moving about some music Cd's and trying to find space for other possessions, THE FUTURIST! found a large quantity of film scores or soundtracks. As often was the case, THE FUTURIST! would see a film and become pleased or impressed by the music in the film and then purchase the record or Cd after his viewing experience. This would happen with any Broadway show he may have seen. The purchasing of the music in a tangible form was (especially in the case of a stage performance) his only way of re-living what he may have felt emotionally while experiencing the live event. THE FUTURIST! does not do this as much as he once did ... due to cost, but also due to the fact that many of today's film scores are almost non-existent. So many films today are full of pop tunes and are not full bodied scores.

There were many soundtracks in THE FUTURIST!'s collection. The cover of each brought back many memories of his seeing the film. Many were played briefly for his mind to trigger why he may have purchased the music. One Cd was a forgotten film called YEAR OF THE COMET. THE FUTURIST! wondered why he owned it ... hmmm. However, once he played it he heard why it was in his home. The music brought it ALL back. It was a rich adventurous rousing score with hints of Celtic and/or Scottish personality. Ah, yes, he remembered it well ... the synapses fused with the spark of memory and happiness.

Another score was from the film THE CRYING GAME. This was a surprise hit from 1992 ... what they would call a "sleeper" film. It was nominated for Best Picture of 1992 along with A FEW GOOD MEN, SCENT OF A WOMAN, HOWARD'S END and the eventual winner UNFORGIVEN. IT was nominated for 6 Academy Awards and one win for Best Original Screenplay. The screenplay was rightly awarded in THE FUTURIST!'s opinion. It was a entertaining surprisingly layered thriller that ricocheted from one plot point to another and never had you saying, "What? Why? Who?" It all made delicious seamless sense. It held a huge surprise that THE FUTURIST! believes he had hints of before he saw it one Saturday afternoon. But, no matter ... it still dazzled him in its originality.

The discovery of the soundtrack to the film and its subsequent placement in THE FUTURIST!'s stereo player brought back the memory of that day he saw the film. He recalls seeing it alone and being so enthralled by the work that he immediately sought out the music to own ... mostly as a match to re-ignite his pleasure with his experience in the dark.

After seeing the film and buying the music, he had to visit a public library in a nearby town. He recalls it was an early March day in 1993 right before the annual presentation of the Academy Awards. (At that time the awards were presented in the early Spring ... late March or Early April. THE YOUNG FUTURIST!, who was a film lover almost from birth, always associated that time of year with the Oscars. Now, the show is presented in the winter due to the plethora of award shows and to shorten the barrage of over awarded indulgence.)

That early March day was still, technically, the winter time, but it was one of those days that hinted to what was to come soon ... beautiful breeze, a temperature that only required a light jacket or sweater ... the signs of flower bulbs seeming to nudge their way through the ground due to the change in temperature. THE FUTURIST! felt the change himself and felt, as is usually the case with the experience of seeing a good film, refreshed and optimistic. Certain films speak to us in often mysterious ways ... one may feel differently then another and this often leads to heated discussion, but being alone in his car and sitting with his window ajar listening to the music from the film he had just emotionally bathed in, made THE FUTURIST! care nought what anyone had to say about THE CRYING GAME. It was a feeling that he can hardly describe in retrospect. The feeling was the one that movies can create in our body chemistry ... no matter the type of film or story or acting or direction ... a feeling of personal euphoria and renewal. It is why THE FUTURIST! keeps watching films. Its a feeling that he and he feels most that truly love films wish to relive. A feeling that blocks out everything in your mind other than what you have just experienced.

The soundtrack to the film was a mix of pop music, pop standards and orchestral score composed by Anne Dudley that provided the "traditional" thriller suspense music we might associate with a film of this type. But, to call THE CRYING GAME a film of "that type" is a diversion of description.

Below is a sample of the more modern, perhaps disco influenced musical moments. It is a slowed down version of a piece entitled LIVE FOR THE DAY. THE FUTURIST! associates this, for some reason, with his most intense feelings for this film. It, more than any other piece from the film, evokes his memories of that afternoon in 1993. It sounds like a memory ... a haunting repetitive melody of a memory.

Listen:


LIVE FOR THE DAY (gospel version)
performed by Cicero and Sylvia Mason James
from the film THE CRYING GAME (1992)

THE FUTURIST!, also, provides you with the faster
version of the song that appears in the film, as well.

Possibly Coming to The Utter Despair Community Theater This Winter

Utter Despair After School Special

Many years ago this After School Special was filmed in Utter Despair, N.J.
The town was quite honored to have Beau Bridges in the community
proving his thespian skills. The Utter Despair Deli has a sandwich
named after him ... The Beau Bridges Bratwurst on a Bagel.

By the way, THE FUTURIST! wants you to know this:

"He loves you very, very much."

See You Next Wednesday!

THE LAST OF SHEILA (1973)

dir: Herbert Ross

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE Sums Up THE FUTURIST!'S Day

Saturday Music from Woody & Groucho for New Year's Day

Happy New Year's Day from Utter Despair, N.J.!

Woody Allen's musical comedy entitled EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU featured an amusing sequence near the conclusion of the film that takes place on New Year's Eve. Some of the film's characters attend a party in Paris wherein the guests are asked to dress as Groucho Marx or a Marx Brother. During this soiree there is a musical number performed by The Helen Miles Singers. The performers are dressed as different versions of film Grouchos. You can see the HORSE FEATHERS Groucho, the ANIMAL CRACKERS Groucho and a DUCK SOUP Groucho in nightcap and night shirt.

Many dislike Woody Allen's excursion into musical comedy, but THE FUTURIST! loves it. He saw it twice ... well, actually once in its entirety in the theater. Then, one day, while waiting for another film THE FUTURIST! crept into the auditorium featuring EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU and watched the Paris party sequence again. Happy days.

Listen and take delight:


VIVE LE CAPITAINE SPAULDING
(HOORAY FOR CAPTAIN SPAULDING)
from the film EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU (1996)
performed by The Helen Miles Singers