Little Room for a View

Fleming Clamdish poses in a very laconic manner with his
house warming gift, which he has no idea where to place.

Fleming Clamdish just got a new apartment in Utter Despair. It is extremely tiny. The ironing board, which springs from a door in the wall, doubles as his bed. He can make breakfast and make his bed at the same time, by merely turning to the right or left. He doubles his bed sheets as a kitchen table cloth. The clothes closet fits two shirts, a coat and one pair of shoes and his Scrabble board game (the junior edition); it resembles a High School locker. Watching television is awkward. There is room for only one chair in the living room; a blue love seat. THE FUTURIST! found it very odd sitting so close to Fleming Clamdish on that tight chair watching My Beautiful Launderette. Fleming Clamdish is a big Stephen Frears fan. THE FUTURIST! asked haiku what would be an appropriate house warming gift. haiku replied, "Don't you mean an appropriate casket warming gift?" haiku can be a smart ass. THE FUTURIST! decided on a food processor which he purchased at Bed Bath & Beyond. Fleming Clamdish accepted it with a small smile and in a taciturn manner. He kept it in his hands through the entire visit and was still holding it after THE FUTURIST! left. Fleming Clamdish said, "Oh, I will eventually find a place for ... it." haiku left after the presentation of the gift. He said, "My presence here is not needed anymore ... plus, my oxygen tank is running low, I need to go out and get some real air." He wore a scuba diving air tank with breathing nozzle to the house warming party. As stated, he can be a smart ass.