It's Tweesday!!

THE FUTURIST! doffs his summer straw boater to
Mr. Matthew Henderson (who wishes he was British)
and his wonderful encyclopedic near idiot savant
talent of summoning up songs of "twee".
Tweesday has it origin in his influence.

THE FUTURIST! Loves America

After watching these videos THE FUTURIST! is so proud to be
an American living in Utter Despair and no where near this American:



and these Americans:



Thanks to director Edgar Wright for the first video
(no he did nor direct it. IT IS REAL!)
and Mr. Matthew Henderson for the patriotic wrestling mania.

THE FUTURIST! feels he would be man-raped in either scenario.

Matthew Henderson's Top 5 Sunday Morning Movies

Besides loving his ritual of the Sunday Morning Movie,

Matthew Henderson loves the occasional ritual

of something he calls The Burger Club.

This involves him eating hamburgers.

Security cameras picked up evidence

of him awaiting a burger which contained

grilled onions, jalapenos, BBQ sauce and lettuce.

(THE FUTURIST!'s stomach would find those club dues rather taxing)

__________________________________________

Mr. Matthew Henderson, THE FUTURIST!'s domestic correspondent in the Washington, D.C. area, is the current guest star of the semi-occurring Top 5 List feature. Referring to Matthew as a domestic correspondent does not mean that he does housework for a Rent-a-Maid service ... no ... it refers to his being situated here in America ... though, he has spent a lot of time in Scotland, apparently, and seems to have left his sad heart there much like Tony Bennett's beating organ is in San Francisco. THE FUTURIST! "knows" Matthew in a distant sense, but feels quite an affinity for him in regard to his movie interests, his taste in finely written television programs, his sense of humor and his sad heart. Matthew has told THE FUTURIST! of an interesting ritual he has performed for years on end involving film. THE FUTURIST! loves rituals. He feels they keep us sane. He does not mean counting to 20 after locking your front door or always needing to put your right sock on before your left ... though that may keep some poor souls sane. THE FUTURIST! means the kind of rituals that don't involve possible psychiatric treatment. For instance, weekly dinner with a loved one, meeting a friend on Tuesday afternoons for a drink or something like THE FUTURIST!'s weekly ritual of a short, cartoon, movie serial chapter and a main feature in his Thimble Theater. Matthew does something similar ... THE FUTURIST! will let him explain in his OWN words in his introduction:

MATTHEW HENDERSON'S
TOP 5 FAVORITE SUNDAY MORNING MOVIES

The Sunday Morning Movie started in 2001, with the general idea being to roll out of bed, hop in the car, put on The Velvet Underground's "Sunday Morning" and drive to the video store to rent the biggest release of the week that I had absolutely no interest in seeing. This served three purposes, the first of which was to catch up on the cultural touchstones or at least what Hollywood wanted to be the cultural touchstones. The second was to ensure that I never became too stuck into arthouse, high-minded, or critically lauded films. Thirdly, it allowed me to justify to myself and my friends watching the mediocre rom-coms I loved (and love) so much. Most of the films I've watched are pretty bad, though some less-so and occasionally they venture into "decent" territory, so proper stand-out gems are hard to consider. Instead of that, here are five notable Sunday Morning Movies.

1.) Zoolander (2001)

This was screened within a month or two of starting the practice. It had flopped at the box office and seemed as though it would be relegated to a footnote in the history of bad Hollywood comedies, but lo and behold, it was not only amusing, it was actually funny. It's surrealist, off-the-wall humour would become more widespread in the coming decade, but it was a genuine surprise at the time. It gave a misplaced sense of justification for the Sunday Morning Movie for a long while.


2.) The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

I am not one to rush out to the theatre to see a horror film generally, and certainly wasn't interested at all in The Great Remake Run of the 00s. That said, one of the most pleasant surprises of the Sunday Morning Movie was to discover how generally watchable these bog-standard horror films are. My heart might sink when I put in the Lizzie McGuire Movie or A Man Apart, but I soon realised that I was actually looking forward to the horror entries. They rarely outstayed their welcome, they were usually self-aware to some degree, and they often included little moments of genuine cleverness or good filmmaking here and there. I chose this one to represent the whole because what really should have been one of the worst (they were really scraping the barrel for things to remake by this point) turned out to be pretty enjoyable. About two-thirds of the way through the horror genre is all but abandoned in favour of a remake of Straw Dogs, cracked glasses and all. The sequel should be avoided though.

3.) Gigli (2003)

Most of the bad movies were just uninspired and dreadfully dull genre retreads, but Gigli was something special. Virtually everything in this film is not only bad, but actively so. So many decisions were so wrong-headed it still boggles my mind to this day that nobody anywhere near this production thought to step in to say, "you know, there doesn't seem to be any good reason for Jennifer Lopez to be a lesbian", or "that bull speech really doesn't make any sense at all." Just when you can't imagine it could possibly get any worse, that ending comes along with the mentally challenged boy and the swimsuit models. Truly awe-inspiring.

4.) Basic (2003)

I was never bored during Basic, which in some ways should put it in the top 30th percentile of Sunday Morning Movies, but you can't look past that ending. People are (rightly) down on M. Night Shyamalan and his preposterous twist endings, but they've got absolutely nothing on this one. As soon as it ended, I had to restrain my friend from throwing the DVD across the room, so he settled for throwing a chair.

5.) Sex Lives of the Potato Men (2004)

The little seen and even less remembered Brit-com Sex Lives of the Potato Men must hold the honour for absolute worst film the Sunday Morning Movie has ever screened. Not only is it stupid and painfully (PAINFULLY) unfunny, it is so disgusting that my friend threw up watching it. Twice.
_____________________________________

Thank you, Matthew.
THE FUTURIST! wishes you well.

THE FUTURIST!'s Top 5 People Born on Dec. 28

Through pure happenstance, THE FUTURIST! discovered that today is the birthday of Lokar20. Lokar20 is not the name of a super villain from Superman comic books (much like Brainiac 5) or the name of a mineral that could be used in the production of nuclear energy sought after by enemy spies. It is NOT, even, the name of a new alcoholic beverage banned in certain East Coast States in America. Lokar20 is the pen name or Twitter moniker of Matthew Henderson who is lokarlly (hee hee) situated in the region of the capital of THE FUTURIST!'s own USA.

THE FUTURIST! knows a bit about Matthew. He was in Scotland for some time. He loves 80s music, likes to watch movies on Sunday mornings and has a soul shaking weakness for fried chicken. He may, also, be a workplace anarchist.

This is his 3rd favorite Christmas song:



and this is his Number One Favorite Track of the 20th Century:



Matthew is a fine writer, as well.
THE FUTURIST! finds momentary pleasure
reading his occasional film and television reviews here.

As stated, THE FUTURIST! found out that today was his birthday
when Matthew commented that "the hot blonde" from TRON LEGACY
(Beau Garret)shared his date of birth.

THE FUTURIST! likes to make Top 5 Lists and he loves inviting others to contribute lists to this blog. A regular contributor has been The Gentleman of Leisure, for instance. THE FUTURIST! also likes to celebrate the birthdays of people he enjoys in some silly creative manner. This is about to be attempted.

THE FUTURIST!'s TOP 5 PEOPLE BORN
ON THE SAME DAY AS MATTHEW HENDERSON
(December 28)

1. Double Academy Award Winning Actress MAGGIE SMITH - 76

2. Portrayer of Lieutenant Uhura on Star Trek NICHELLE NICHOLS - 78

3. Saturday Night Live Writer & Performer SETH MEYERS - 37

4. ANOTHER Double Academy Award Winning Actor DENZEL WASHINGTON - 56

5. American Idol Runner-Up DAVID ARCHULETA - 20

Happy Birthday to all!

Saturday Music inspired by Matthew Henderson

Again, though forever despondent and pessimistic, THE FUTURIST! finds a glistening watering hole in the desert of a day. Through pure serendipity, THE FUTURIST! encountered a song he never heard and knew nothing of and sung by someone he never knew existed. In fact, the song was "tweeted" by someone THE FUTURIST! never knew existed until recently ... namely Matthew Henderson. Twitter, though scoffed at by THE FUTURIST! some time ago, has turned into a goldmine of encountering people of like minds of great wit and intelligence from near and far, who impart great links to information on film, books, songs and cocktail concoctions (see @swankmartini). In this case, Matthew Henderson of The Chiaroscuro Coalition provided the full refreshing cup to this song that quenched the parched soul of THE FUTURIST!. Matthew's sense of song seems to match THE FUTURIST!'s tastes ... a sadly tinged clearly enunciated voice relating a melancholy melody assisted by strings and drums and guitar ... and ping pong.

THE FUTURIST!'s trousers immediately hit the linoleum at the sound of a song accompanied by beautiful strings. Yeah, well, don't worry he doesn't do it in public.

Adam Green, the singer, seems quite depressed. He needs a haircut and a tailor. He never blinks, which, THE FUTURIST! believes, is a sign of insanity. Wait ... or is it never smiling while laughing like recounted in Poe's FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER? Oh, anywho ... whatever ... Adam Green may have all the aforementioned problems, but he sure can play table tennis with one hand while singing into and holding a microphone in the other.

The song is beautifully depressing, but it made THE FUTURIST! happy.
Matthew Henderson, you are a gem.

Listen:


JESSICA
performed by Adam Green