Comedy Record Titles

Today, THE FUTURIST! was taking to a friend

named James about what he was having for lunch.

The friend was going to a fast food chain to satisfy his hunger.

James then asked THE FUTURIST! what he was having to eat.

THE FUTURIST! replied that he had prepared a sandwich at home

of leftover chicken with fresh garden tomatoes on a hard roll.

The chicken, THE FUTURIST! explained, was from a supermarket

that sold pre-cooked small roasters that were seasoned with

delicious herbs and spices. THE FUTURIST! said that he loved

these chickens because they were enhanced for

the ultimate in taste sensation.

THE FUTURIST! and James then talked about James'

boss who had returned from Las Vegas on a vacation.

This boss, who James detests, had claimed he was going

to Las Vegas to win oodles of money because he had devised

a perfect way to win at craps. He said he was going to become rich.

THE FUTURIST! said that one could, perhaps, win at 21 or another card

game if one was a "card counter", but craps involves dice

and the only way to win would be with "trick" dice or loaded dice.

The casino provides the dice and even if you did substitute

the dice with your own dice, the gangsters who owned

the casino would kill you.

THE FUTURIST! said, "Two guys named Tony and Lou would

take that idiot for a drive out to the desert at night, beat him up

and then put two bullets in his head and bury him under a cactus."

James liked that idea. But, the boss had arrived back this week

totally unscathed with no evidence of an organized crime beating.

James then saw the boss walk down the stairway nearby.

He said, "I'd love to kick his ass down those stairs."

THE FUTURIST! then said, "Yes. Then put two in his head."

They laughed as people do when they express outrageous

violent fantasies about work superiors.

James then said that he thought that THE FUTURIST!

should record a comedy album.

THE FUTURIST! scoffed at the idea.

James said, "No no, yes, it would be great!

And I know the title of your first album ...

I LIKE AN ENHANCED CHICKEN !"

And James continued,

"Your second album would be called ...

TWO IN THE HEAD !"

This was conversation was the highlight of

THE FUTURIST!'s day today.

It made him happy.