Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Better Than a Sedative

THE FUTURIST! felt a bit anxious today. So, he watched this montage of Woody Allen films of the 1970s. Things seem a little rosier, now ... for the time being.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

"Can You Hear Me Scream NOW?"

THE FUTURIST! wanted desperately to call haiku to tell him about this montage of a horror/thriller movie cliche plot device, but THE FUTURIST! couldn't get a signal on his cell phone from his location in a cabin high up in the remote hills of North Western New Jersey where, he believed, mutant inbred mountain people who eat human flesh were roaming about. It was quite a stressful weekend. He's safe, now.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Saturday Music Brought Back from the Past

In his public school days, when he was THE YOUNG FUTURIST!, THE FUTURIST! did some work for a theater group at Henrik Ibsen High School. He sat in on many rehearsals and auditions and enjoyed seeing the process of creating a stage play. One time, THE FUTURIST! watched Laurel Standish perform the song presented below as part of her audition. Young 17 yr old Laurel Standish sang with pitch perfect perfection as the accompanying piano, guitar and drums added to her melodious voice. After the song began, Laurel seemed to direct the song to THE YOUNG FUTURIST!. He felt every word hit him directly as if his soul was a row of sheet metal ducks being "pinged" by a BB gun at the town carnival. Was Laurel Standish singing to the inner melancholy of THE YOUNG FUTURIST! Well, he is not sure, but he will never forget this sappy 70s song, the tingle running across his skin as Laurel Standish sang, or her sparkling Crayola colored Caribbean Current Blue eyes.


performed by Olivia Newton-John

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Saturday Music redux with The Penguin Cafe Orchestra

National Public Radio first introduced THE FUTURIST! to the sounds of The Penguin Cafe Orchestra. Back in March THE FUTURIST! introduced them to the readers of this blog with a Saturday Music post. Please give them your attention once again as they send a repetitious, yet oh so pleasant melody to dance about your head and into your ears.


performed by The Penguin Cafe Orchestra

THE FUTURIST! is a Green Tea Bagger

THE FUTURIST! doesn't like to get political, however he would like you watch the impending end of the world being led by moronic, racist, ignorant, inbred assholes. THE FUTURIST! found himself laughing quite a bit at this unintentional "comedy", but these clowns are not from a circus ... they are real. Perhaps, Washington, D.C. or the entire United States should be renamed Utter Despair.

*A hearty handshake (without a joy buzzer) to St. Neil of the Fake Dog Dog Pound
for alerting THE FUTURIST! to this audio/visual document of human stupidity and heartache.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Beautiful Downtown Mars

THE FUTURIST! saw this in the window of the Utter Despair Travel Agency on the corner of High and Low. Hmmm ... should an Autumnal vacation be planned? But the Cimarron Canyons shouldn't be experienced alone. Maybe in another year or so. THE FUTURIST! still hasn't even been to California.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Two Hits from a Bong

Memories of Murder

Words almost fail THE FUTURIST! in his appreciation of these two films from Korean director Bong Joon-Ho. Last week, THE FUTURIST! viewed MEMORIES OF MURDER and this week THE HOST. MEMORIES OF MURDER is an involving 130 min. tale of the lengthy investigation of a serial killer in a South Korean province. You become totally immersed into this tale that stretches into years of frustrating police work that yields nothing. Telling you that it yields nothing does not spoil the experience; this tale is the Asian cinema sister of David Fincher's ZODIAC, even though that picture was made several years later. This killer tale serves up more emotion than the cold delivery of Fincher's film. You will find much to compare from both films ... in fact, one wonders if Mr. Fincher was influenced by this Korean treat. In the case of this spellbinding crime thriller and the monster movie THE HOST, THE FUTURIST! found himself trying to acclimate to the Korean sensibility, but doing so without difficulty. The film's moods mix comedy, adventure, political statements and horror in equal quantities. Both of these films are genre bending. Bong Joon-Ho takes the idea of a crime thriller and a monster movie and adds so much to the cinematic soup of storytelling. THE HOST is not only about a giant fish creature with land mobility devouring human Asian cuisine, but it is, also, a story about American influence over South Korea, a dysfunctional family unit, government protesters with good intentions (but poor information), evil scientists with political motivations and the horrors of pollution. Both films hold your eyes in one direction ... toward the screen with all other thoughts kicked upstairs to the attic of your brain. Good Gravy, these were two fantastic cinematic experiences.

The Host

If Constipation Could Take Human Form

... It Would Look Like This

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Saturday Music for Male Hustlers

One of the great movie themes bar none; THE FUTURIST! presents the melancholy soul stirring provided by the Academy Award winning Best Picture of 1969.


(from the film Midnight Cowboy -1969)
performed and composed by John Barry

Friday, September 11, 2009

THE FUTURIST!'s Masterpiece of Musical Melody Contest

Oh, you haven't heard? Well, THE FUTURIST! is inviting any and everyone to submit an entry for competition in THE FUTURIST!'s Masterpiece of Musical Melody Contest. You may sing or play an instrument in a group or solo. You may, even ... do an interpretive dance. After careful consideration THE FUTURIST! will post your entry and allow the followers of this blog to pick a winner. Entries must be posted by September 30, 2009. The winner will receive nothing but the THE FUTURIST!'s thanks for adding to his blog and a Barnes & Noble Gift Card for $5.

Entry # 1:
(featuring Glen Spivak, Matt Freedenhofferhoffer
and the unnamed teenager that once delivered
THE FUTURIST!'s newspaper and regularly tossed it in the azalea bush.)
performing Henry Mancini's A SHOT IN THE DARK
from the Blake Edwards film of the same name:

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Joys of Fritz Lang Lager

THE FUTURIST! and haiku stopped off at a watering hole in nearby Schadenfraude, N.J. and enjoyed an Autumnal beer from Germany called Fritz Lang Lager. This particular brew is concocted especially for Oktoberfest festivities throughout New Jersey, Pennsylvania and lower New York State. When asked by the barkeep if he wished to try it, THE FUTURIST! replied, "You Only Live Once!" It was quite delicious. haiku loved the small bowl of mixed nuts on the bar. He did get a tad bored opening his helmet visor to toss in several almonds, filberts, pecans and cashews over and over again. The boredom did not halt his consuming, however. Oh, if you are wondering why THE FUTURIST! and haiku are dressed in Seussonoras Labs copyrighted Designer Atomic Blast Apparel (with matching non-radiation metallic gloves), it was because THE FUTURIST! was on his way to meet Young Sun Compton who he believed might actually be an actual newly virginal exploded star. He was afraid of his skin being burned away and exposing bone. Even though haiku tried to explain that Young Sun was not an actual super nova, but an actual flesh and blood person, THE FUTURIST! did not heed his advisement. This may have been due to his helmet being on too tight ... but actually THE FUTURIST! was too distracted by the delicious German beer's flavor clicking a jack-booted salute on his taste buds.

Unfortunately, THE FUTURIST! did not get to meet Young Sun Compton that afternoon. After downing three Fritz Lang Lagers, he searched for the saloon restroom. Due to the usual dim lighting quality of most bars and the tinted helmet visor, THE FUTURIST! accidentally sauntered into the restroom NOT suited for his gender and caused a ruckus with a young woman tending to the result of having a bloated bladder. This bathroom brouhaha culminated in the offended young woman's beau rushing to her aid and ejecting THE FUTURIST! into the parking lot and kicking him several times in the pelvic area. The emotional distress and the injuries incurred from his body impacting with macadam (the Seussonoras Designer Atomic Blast suit may protect one from exposure to intense solar heat, but it seemed not to be impervious to blacktop paved surfaces) caused THE FUTURIST! to alter his social plans that day. Both THE FUTURIST! and haiku turned to Utter Despair, NJ ... after, of course, haiku finished the small bowl of nuts and that delightful Fritz Lang Lager.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Sgt. Paprika's Lonely Hindu Band

Those very anticipated Beatles remastered albums are arriving tomorrow! Everyone is atwitter and anxious to purchase these recordings. THE FUTURIST! offers you a preview of one song. WARNING: You may be a tad disappointed.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Less Than 10 Minute Matinee # 4

Our next attraction features bad dubbing, women in constant states of undress, blatant product placement for Lufthansa airlines and confusing fight scenes. Bring your aspirin and a flask!

THE FUTURIST! implores you to visit the concession stand for popcorn bathed in real artery clogging butter. This butter is concentrated by melting 25 sticks in one super heated vat and then doused on your kernels! Or if you are impatient for heart disease, an usher will provide you with an I.V. tubing, stand, and butter bag to take to your seat. Yum.

Our feature presentation is a delicate drama containing understated acting, beautiful costuming and camera work of subtle genius!

directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Saturday Music for Memories

This was a week of reflection for THE FUTURIST! Thoughts of change and people, places and things physical gone forever, except in the ghostly light of memory that flickers in the mind, dominated the quiet periods of the week. The piece of music below was introduced first to THE FUTURIST! by a friend from the past and referred to recently by a "friend" in Ireland, whom one day may be met in the future.

performed by Aphex Twin

Thursday, September 3, 2009